Awaking

Drunk

Another glass from the bottle with that colourless liquid.

It burns its way down from my lips to my stomach.

I feel tired.

The beat of the drums moves me.

My legs are useless.

I dance without controlling my movement.

Another glass.

The world gets smaller and smaller.

Me and the bottle.

The bottle is getting empty.

I smile at the bottle.

It smiles back.

I try to catch it but it falls down.

Breaks.

I don´t care.

The world just got a bit smaller.

Now it´s only me.

I am moving through the dark.

Shadows moving around me.

I know them.

Friends.

One of the shadows places his hand on my shoulder.

I smile at the shadow.

He smiles back.

My world grows again.

It hits me hard.

Author's Note

Review please.

Reviews

[Mary E Green]

I felt I was this character for this moment- great piece! Very insightful...

[James Hamilton]

Thank you so much!

[James]

Overall, I like what you are doing here. The interspersing of longer and shorter lines, with shifts back and forth between the perspective of the drinking and the world around creates something of a strobe effect, which is fitting for what appears to be a club environment.

[James Hamilton]

Thank you.

[robing123456]

"On of the shadows places his hand on my shoulder."
^ should that be "one"

I liked it. reminds me of every friday. gold star!

[James Hamilton]

Thank you. Will change that. :)

[†Tracey†]

"I smile at the bottle.
It smiles back."

Once this takes place you know it's going to be a bad night. You have penned a drunk night out really well..xo

[James Hamilton]

Really really bad. :) Thank you.

[Mark]

Definitely sounds like its written from experience, and I mean that in a good way. Nicely done.

[James Hamilton]

Yes you´re right. Thank you so much.

[Meaghan]

This is great - i loved how you repeated the ' smaller and smaller ' line. Very nice.

[James Hamilton]

I appreciate that. Thank you.

[Lucien Maier]

Nicely done, it shows how drinking effects very well

[James Hamilton]

Thank you very much.