I'll Just Keep Lying

More depressing stuff.... :/

 

"Whats wrong?"
You ask me
I say "Nothing"
But it burns as it comes off my lips
While you look me in the eye
Cause we both know it's a lie
But it's too much for me to explain
And would be too much for you to take in
So we just go on with our lives
Go on living this lie
That everythings alright
Cause we both know it's not true
Sometimes I can't even look at you
Sometimes you don't understand at all
I live with more guilt than most teenagers do
Knowing that if my Father were to die tomorrow
He'd die thinking that I hated him
And I live with more pain than you know
Pain that comes from not feeling good enough
And not being wanted
Not being wanted by any guy I know...
They all just come and go...
Making promises that quickly fade
It's so much more than I can take
Feeling worthless at times
Its so hard not to cry
Seems so pointless to try
And as you still look me in the eye
I sit across from you and lie
Because its too hard for me to explain
And too much for you to take in
So I'll just keeping lying
And we can go on living
Like everythings alright

Author's Note

Its kinda just about where my life is at right now...I have so many things I want to change...and so many things I want to get over....but I have no idea how or where to start :/

Reviews

[Tony]

Writing poems about your feeling and struggles is an excellent place to start.
The reflection that is required helps you define you.
In this poem you are writing about what you know. Which is mandantory in literature.
Good work!
Thanks for posting.

[Manda]

wow.... its so sad because I'm going through this right now... My life is a miserable lie.... or at least to most everyone except my family.... All thanks to my almost suicide... Now Im in therapy and medication... I really loved this even though it was extremely sad! Nice job!

[A Touch of Insanity:)]

Start with the hardest thing in your life, that way everything gets easier:) Good luck with your progress!

[Jenny Nelson]

Lots of folks know that feeling, and frustrating, to say the very least, it is. You just have to take it step by step, working it out little by little, and understanding that it can take a while for things to really change, either from without or within. You could start by just simply saying to your dad, "I don't hate you." You'd be amazed what that can do... I've done it myself with my son in law. Just don't ever forget that you are NOT worthless, but a valuable asset to the world. Keep reminding yourself of that so you don't forget it. For starters, you're a very good, expressive, heartfelt writer, and I'm SURE there are many other positive assets you possess.

[Sleepless]

Beautiful poem. So sad, though. I hope everything turns out all right. And PM me if you need someone to talk to!!

-Cee