A Stage Play by Jess


Host- Welcome to the best dating show on television! Today, this pretty young bachelorette is here today seeking a lovely little date. She gets to choose from these two, handsome, bachlores. On this show, we let the bachlorette ask the questions, and daters, pleas try to answer these questions as honest as possible. Let’s start our show, bachelorette, ask away.
Well first off, bachelor one and two, what’s your name and how old are you?
#1- my name is Jay, but my workers call me J-Money, im 56 and still acttractin the ladies.
#2- my mother named me Stan, im 23.
Uhmmm, okay… sooo… bachelor number 1, what do you look for in a girl?
What do I look for? I look for a girl that can work it anywhere and everywhere, from the car, to the sidewalk, she gotta strut her stuff to make me my pay.
How about you bachelor number 2?
Well, im just looking for a girl to get along with me, be respectful to me, and also, love my mother.
Okay, bachelor number 1, if I told you I was pregnant, and it could possibly be yours, what would you say?
Girl, don’t get me started, I got babies roamin all around America.
How bout you bachelor 2?
Well, it couldn’t be possible, because my mother said she doesn’t want grandchildren, so im staying a virgin.
Bachelor number 2, do you have a myspace?
My mom and I share one.
Bachelor number 1, why did your last relationship end?
I never had a relationship; I just get my lovin from my workers.
Bachelor number 2, what’s your favorite drink?
Well, if you’re talking alcohol, I don’t drink that, id prefer fruit punch, or water
Bachelor number 1?
Pimp Juice, no questions asked.
Bachelor number 1, what kind of underwear are you wearing right now?
My vibrating boxers, they’re not turned on tho, yet ; )
Bachelor 2?
I have tidy witeys on, that’s the only thing my mom told me to wear.
Bachelor number 2, what’s your weekend usually consist off?
Well, I usually stay at home and bake with my mother.
Number one?
Everydays a weekend for me baby, and everyday, I count my bills, make sure my ladies are on the street, and relax.
Number one, what’s the grossest thing next to your bed?
Hahaha, I gots a few dirty condoms, that’s about it tho.
Number two?
Probably my retainers, when im not wearing them, I hope my mom doesn’t hear this
Okay men, last question, if I told you I loved you, would you say it back? Bachelor number two, you first.
Well, I would say I love you too if I did, but id probably ask my mom for permission to say it first.
Bachelor one?
ME? Say those three words? Ha, why not, I love all my moneymakers.
Host- Okay, well bachelorette, since you heard many things about these fine men, its up to you to choose, so who will it be? (The host looked over at her and she was running out of the game show yelling, Men are WEIRD!)

© 2008 Jess

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Added on April 30, 2008



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