Subconcious

Subconcious

A Story by [email protected]!
"

This is a dream I had, I'll think of a better title later. It's kind of funny, but I think it means I'm angry.

"
In my dream, I was going on a trip with my boyfriend. Somehow, he got left behind and I continued traveling. I got to the place we were going, which was apparently was a log cabin in the ocean but close to the shore. Beside the cabin was an infinitely tall dock that seemed to reach into the heavens. I climbed up the ladder and was thrilled to find that it was a dock used for, I don't know, "extreme thrill things".

In front of me was a row of exciting things to choose from, beginning with an expensive amusement park ride. It has two large poles (except this one simply dropped from the dock), and between the two poles is a large seat attached by several large bungee chords. It works like a rubber band, using potential and kinetic energy to shoot it's passengers upward then downward in the air. Next, there were a series of strange-looking harnesses that I had no idea what they were for, and then there were bungee jumping harnesses.

The boy that was working the dock asked me which one I wanted to do. I was slightly angered because I felt he was pressuring me. I defiantly sat Indian style on the deck with my arms crossed and said I was waiting for Blair (my boyfriend). However, before he could get there an entire group of people swarmed the dock, and someone, perhaps a salesman, put one of the odd harnesses on me. Immediately following, we all floated up into the sky like balloons. The salesman kept talking to me. He was a rich outdoorsman and I was having none of whatever he was selling. I also kept hearing a computerized voice making calcutaions and saying "good customer", "bad customer", "happy customer", " sad customer", "ANGRY customer" and so on. The voice also had a flashing red and yellow sign that said what the voice was saying. The voice suddenly said "customer lost", and the salesman beside me cursed and said that he'd lost the sale. He then sighed and said "well anyway, here have a fish." and handed me a blue harness, much like the ones we were wearing (ours were black, however) and attatched to it wa a fleet of baby sharks. I was not afraid of them, although slightly annoyed when one tried to bite my wrist, I still liked them.

I saw another log cabin in the distance and decided I wanted to go to it. I somehow stopped floating in the sky and made my way down into the water. However, once I touched the water, I was in my own backyard with water rising up around my house. There was a distressed talking frog in the water, so I picked him up and told him it would be alright. He was worried because there was a fire in the distance and there were things in the water that might eat him. I loved this frog and was going to take care of him. I took him into his house, which was literally a miniature house in the middle of our yard. It was dollhouse-sized, and he slept on a lilypad in his bedroom. Once I put him inside, he frantically swam to his lilypad (their house was filled with water). I asked the grumpy squid (his roommate) if he would be alright and he said "yeah, he's got that damn lilypad".

I was satisfied with this and once I turned around I found that I had arrived at the other log cabin. I went inside and realized I had stepped into a movie, so I stayed quiet and let the characters talk. It was an action movie, and they were trying to figure out who was trying to kill them. I went downstairs and was suddenly drugged and could not move my body the way I should have. My eyes were glazed and my body was somewhat limp. I found my father in the same state, but with bloodshot eyes and a gun. He screamed at me, saying "get out of the way!!", so I hid behind a chair. The lights were off in the house and he snuck up behind me and fired the gun right by my head. Something less dangerous than a bullet shot out, but I don't understand what. However, it made an ugly black stain on the white carpet.

I decided to go back upstairs (regaining control of my body), and in the movie they had discovered that the strange object in the bathroom was a missile. Everyone panicked and ran out of the house as it exploded. Everyone's hair was on fire (except mine), which left burn marks on their scalps, but it was alright because when we got outside there was snow everywhere and everyone's fire was put out. I stamped on the flames that landed beneath my feet, and my friend Shaila was suddenly beside me. We were watching another "real life movie" but this time it was a documentary that was filmed at night. The narrator was a deep, male voice saying that "fire was everywhere" and there were these people that were being consumed by huge flames, but they were not dying, only hurting. There was this one little blonde girl that was screaming and crying in the most heartbreaking manner as this collosal pillar of fire swirled mercilessly around her. I wished I could help her, I had snow where I was, but I couldn't because she was somewhere beyond my reach. I couldn't touch those flames if I wanted to. I watched her in pity, and I awoke as I began to search for Blair again.

© 2011 [email protected]!


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Author's Note

He@ther!
If you're going to critique (which is perfectly fine), please do it on the structure of the piece, not whether or not you thought the story line is interesting. This is not a story, its an experimentation with language and word structure. As I said in the description its just a dream I had. Whether its interesting or makes a good story is something in and of itself.

My Review

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Featured Review

I'm not gonna lie, it didn't grab me from the start... i know it's a dream and the way in which you wrote is the way we would desrcibe a dream in dialogue, but perhaps you could turn it into more of a narrative? Make it more descriptive, creative and story-like...? Just a thought.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I need a thread to follow.

Posted 8 Years Ago


An apt narrative style with dream like non sequitur images/ideas. Could be an example of what people experience on Salvia...the constant morphing of reality.
While this is a collection of images, its obviously not a story.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Was this an actual dream? It was really interessting in a strange way. I mean it wouldn't get any merits as a story but I think people should share their dreams more often, they're so strange.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I'm not gonna lie, it didn't grab me from the start... i know it's a dream and the way in which you wrote is the way we would desrcibe a dream in dialogue, but perhaps you could turn it into more of a narrative? Make it more descriptive, creative and story-like...? Just a thought.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on October 27, 2010
Last Updated on October 18, 2011

Author

He@ther!
[email protected]!

About
My name is Heather, I'm twenty, future author and english teacher, highly analytical, The Vampire Diaries, A Tale of Two Cities, both classic and modern literature, the Victorian era, Coco Chanel, ext.. more..

Writing