Chapter One, What Else Would It Be Called?

Do you believe that everything happens for a reason? That every stepping stone along the path of life has a purpose? That life is a beautiful thing, and every breath is a treasure? If you answered yes to any of the above then you obviously are not Alister Wunderclyffe. Alister Wunderclyffe was the smudge on the great touchscreen of West Greenwich, Idaho. He wasn't very tall, smart, or good in school; come to think of it Alister wasn't very much of anything. The one redeeming factor of his life (so far.) was that he, the total zero of Greenwich Middle School, had been kissed (on the cheek.) by Alice Cain. It was the last dance of the New Years party and she had danced it with him, for one brief moment his life was complete. The moment was then completely ruined when Betty "Double Wide" Brunwick dumped pink lemonade on his head trying to get to the snack table. Alister stayed strong though, he puffed his chest up and sucked his soaking lower half in, leaving with the shambles of his dignity and a trail of pink lemonade behind him. Alister had spent weeks after the dance not knowing if it had been a success or a failure. He eventually decided it didn't matter, because he was in love. 

Two years later, Alister stood on the steps of Greenwich High, it didn't look that much different from the middle school. The windows here were smaller, the bricks had started to crumble and it looked even more like a prison. He sighed and started up the stairs. It was august and a chill was in the air, but it wasn't as cold as the stares of the upper classman. Alister found his locker and upturned the contents of his backpack on the rusty bare shelf. "That should do." He closed the small blue door and spun the dial of the combination lock. A soft sweet voice drifted from over his shoulder. "Hey there." Alister turned to come face to face with Alice Cain, he gulped loudly, her blond hair fell in locks by her cheeks; his heart beat faster, she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. A hand grabbed his shoulder and shoved him out of the way. "Get lost loser." Bobby Turney, Senior, turned to Alice. "Hey Baby, how have you been?" She pulled close to him and smiled. Alister picked himself off the floor, and shook his head. His chances with Alice had died two years ago, when Bobby Turney, the most popular boy in all of Greenwich had started dating her.

 He walked into the boys bathroom and looked in the mirror, massaging his neck, he dropped his backpack on the floor. Alister was no longer the total zero of the middle school, now he was just another nameless, friendless, emo kid. He sighed and reached in his bag. Everyone in the highschool had their place; The Cheerleaders had Cheer Practice, the Nerds had Math Class and Chess Club, the Goth Kids had their Stairwell, the Jocks had the Nerds to beat up, and Alister? He smiled in the mirror. Alister had no place. He did however have Thomas the Top Hat. Ever since he was little he had loved hats, his head just felt empty without them. He gently put Thomas on his head. "So Tom, what do you think? I decided to wear a color today." He gestured to the obnoxiously large button on his jacket. Bold pink against his all black clothes. "Its not much but I think it really brings out my inner happiness. You know, a tiny speck surrounded by darkness?" He took off the ridiculous top hat and put it back in his bag, shrugging it over his shoulder. He brushed back his long black hair, and chuckled to himself, he really was going crazy. Alister stepped out of the boys bathroom and disappeared into the flow of students.

 Being insignificant had its advantages, as long as you kept moving no one bothered you, just another sheep in need of herding. Teachers give you less homework, Bullies ignore you, Students ignore you, everyone basically has a leave me alone policy. This was not the case however when it came to Grace. He had made the mistake of dropping his notebook, his one prize possession. Her mouth had dropped open when she picked it up and he barely had time to snatch it away. She threatened to tell everyone in the whole school what she saw, and ever since then she had blackmailed him into being her "friend" Alister sighed, he hated the word friend. It reminded him of those awkward hug from his smelly Aunt from new Mexico. Ugh, moth balls and week old taco salad. He rounded the corner and sighed. For future reference you should know that Alister sighs alot, a whole lot. He sighed when he felt pressured, tired, sad, mad, happy, annoyed, overjoyed, and flamboyantly mediocre. There was just something about sighing that made your problems seem a little smaller, Alister sighed again, and then again, because at this particular corner he came face to face with no other than Grace Brubaker. "Alister!" He waved awkwardly and muttered, "Speak of the devil." But as much as he feigned loathing for the way Grace blackmailed him, he really didn't think she was all that bad. She stood a good three inches over his 5'5, and her curly brunette hair swept over the tops of her shoulders. "How was your week? I like your button." Alister walked beside her towards his first class. "It was okay, and thanks, Its a reflection of how I feel inside, its pretty deep." She may have been the loosest term of a friend but he still thought she might appreciate the thought he put in it. "A reflection of how you feel inside?" She turned her head to the side and spun the pin around chuckling. "Save the Ta-ta's?" Alister's eyes grew wide. "It was upside down, glad to know you support the breast cancer association though. See you at lunch!" She clapped him on the shoulder and walked into her class. " he stood in the hall, his face redder then the "Save the Ta-ta's" button on his chest. So much for his fashion statement.

After hours of more agonizing social interaction, Alister trudged off the bus and up the cul-de-sac. His house was third on the left, and bright neon yellow; Alister sighed, if he ever got a girlfriend he swore he would never show her this house. He walked the four small steps to the door and rung the bell. Above the door a small green sign greeted guests. "Welcome Child of Earth! May the Sun and Moon continue to bless your seed." His Dad opened the door, peering over his circular glasses and straightening his fringed psychedelic poncho. "Are you here for the Moon festival?" Alister shook his head, "I'm home from school Dad." Mr.Wunderclyffe's eyes opened a bit wider. "Oh, yes. Son, right. Sorry, we got carried away in the front room with the hookah and brownies. Lost my head for a minute." Mr.Wunderclyffe had laid down on a few too many poppy seed fields in his prime. Alister's Mom walked into the foyer holding a silver steaming tray. "Harold? Alister? Would either of you like one of my organic vegan ooey gooey bars?" Alister squeezed by his parents. "No thanks Mom, I'm not hungry." He climbed the stairs, avoiding several of their friends, all clad in hippie garb. He swore under his breath and slammed his bedroom door closed. Why did his parents have to be so weird? It seemed like every week they got stranger. He layed on his bed and groaned, fourteen hours and he had to do this all over again. Alister sighed. He rolled over and grabbed his notebook. He chuckled to himself, to think, the one secret that defined him was kept between the pages of this crappy marble notebook. Alister grabbed a pen and let his mind wander as he put it the page."Ticking, I can hear the clock. Drawing ever closer, ever close behind." He paused, the rythmic drumming from his earbuds drowning out his parents party below. Shaking his head he went back to writing. His parents had more friends than he ever had. "How long will this melacholy, droning, ticking hang over me? I feel as if I'm late, for a very important date; for some reason though, I cannot determine what I am late for. It seems my doddling mind is playing tricks on me again." Alister's phone rang on the desk. He opened up the text message, it read: "Hey, Its Alice. I know we haven't talked in a long time but I really need to ask you something. Can you meet me by the gym locker room tomorrow after history?" Alister dropped the phone, his jaw along with it. This was glorious news, this was his chance at redemption. He scribbled the last line of his poem and walked to his closet. There was no time to waste, tomorrow had to be played perfectly. On his desk the notebook lay open. "But no matter, because tomorrow everything will change. The ticking will finally stop."

The sun rose, in all its glorious splendor. Exactly four and a half minutes late according to Alister. He had been ready for the day since before he went to bed. He threw off his blankets and sat up, fully clothed. Alister had seen no point in wasting time and deemed it an appropriate occasion to sleep fully dressed. You never know what might happen, he had mused, his alarm clock could break, his house could spontaneously combust (which wouldn't be all bad), the next world war could start, or his mother and father could accidentally light the dog on fire again. Today was not a day to waste, this was his chance, carpe diem, sieze the day, day the seize and all that. Alister stood up and strode proudly across the room. it was going to be a great day, nothing could bring his mood down. He tripped over a pile dirty laundry and smashed his face on the floor. Alister rolled on his back, clutching his now bleeding nose. In reflection he realized, spending time preparing had proven a wise decision of time management; however, spending the rest of the night staring at the ceiling with a dumb smirk on his face, had not. An hour and four stitches later Alister Wunderclyffe, bumbling idiot, stood once again on the steps of Greenwich High. An annoyingly cheerful group of teens sat on the steps, laughing, flirting, and generally enjoying their last moments of freedom for the day, Alister clutched his backpack tighter, people made him nervous. Ever since he was a child he had borderlined on a social anxiety, he remembered how all the other kids ran excitedly to the ice cream truck while he hid under the porch screaming the ice cream demons were going to steal their souls. Alister sighed, he had never been considered normal, but it didn't bother him that much, he did have his inanimate object best friend to lean on after all. Not that he could "actually" lean on Thomas, that would be inconsiderate and rude, plus he was just a hat you know. Alister arrived at his locker, locker number 666, and ignored the snickers from across the hall. "Hey, dweebs, lay off before I come over there." He slammed his head against his locker, Grace was once again playing the rescuer role. She took the volleyball from under her arm and spiked it at the group of offenders, quickly and effectively dispersing them. "Look, Grace, I appreciate you fighting my battles for me but could you please stop that? It's not exactly giving them any less reason." She scooped her volleyball off the floor. "I know, lemme guess, when I do they pick on you more for having a girl stand up for you?" Alister put his hands on his hips, trying to look authoritive. "Exactly." Grace snickered. "Well, I know you're trying to act all manly now they're gone but we both know you don't have the balls to stand up to them." She spun her volleyball on the tip of her finger and flicked it in the air, catching it behind her and holding it up for Alister to see. "At least I do." He shook his head, this was exactly the 43rd time she had humiliated him like this. Alister wondered if her attitude came from being one of the schools best volleyball players, he changed the topic. "So I'm gonna meet up with Alice today." Grace dropped her volleyball. "Dude, bad idea, seriously, even if she did like you Bobby would kill you. Do you even remember what happened last year when you offered her your seat?" Alister grimaced that was a memory he would rather forget.