A Cloudy Moon

art ~ Karol Bak

 

~~~

It is gray

when winds of dawn blow from aching rivers

and the roses wither in the mist

as the rain meets the tide

 

It is quiet

when silence speaks and deaf ears hold

only the whisper of the clouds

covering the moon

 

Forgive the clouds

 

as the rain falls upon our golden bed

of lavender scents and pairing birds

and peach blooms rising

like a thousand torches

shining

in the wake of this cloudy moon

 

(rest and hope for this)

 

Yes,

it is gray and it is quiet…

 

Forgive the clouds

~~~

Author's Note

deleted in error and reposted

Reviews

[MAD ENGLISHMAN]

Atmospheric. I liked it but may I make some small observations.
Roses bloom in June onwards, at least in UK. Peaches blossom early spring and lavender june/July onwards. Birds pair in very early spring also. As a gardener I'd notice these things conflicting in your poem. HOWEVER that does not detract from the lovely descriptive flow of the poem. Forgive me the criticism. Mad Englishman

[MsJewel]

Thank you for your suggestions. I live in sunny southern California. My roses and lavender blooms all year long - and the birds are here 12 months a year as well. Although it must be lovely to watch the seasons change - it doesn't happen here... It is sunny and warm and then from time to time a rain shower...Thank you for your lovely comment. I appreciate it very much :) Julie

[MAD ENGLISHMAN]

Since Christmas we've had 45 days of rain here. looking forward to some sunshine.

[MsJewel]

Sending you some California sunshine!

[MAD ENGLISHMAN]

Think it arrived this morning. thanks. They've given minus 7 for tonight. Wet tomorrow and Sunday. AGAIN.

[Frieda P]

I am in love with this melancholy twist of yours. You are the mistress of love scribbles and then some...love that last line. 'Forgive the clouds' what a commanding finish!

as the rain falls upon our golden bed
of lavender scents and pairing birds
and peach blooms rising
like a thousand torches
shining
in the wake of this cloudy moon

That's golden my sweet poetic friend. :-)

[MsJewel]

Thank you Frieda, Your comments always mean so much to me. Have a beautiful day my friend :) Julie

[Frieda P]

You're too sweet my luverly poetic friend, it's always my pleasure to read you Julie. :-)

[Baby Ricochet]

Wow! I really like this one, the first stanza in particular. Outstanding work Madame poet.

[MsJewel]

Thank you BR! :) Julie

[Raymond Federle]

I agree wit my fellow reviewers...excellent indeed! ;)

[MsJewel]

Thank you Raymond. Glad to see you back! :) Julie

[s y e]

Awh, this is truly breath taking and magnificent. You leave me wanting more each time!

[MsJewel]

Thank you my sweet friend :) Julie

[kublakhan27]

This is a phenomenal piece my friend, certainly one of my favourites from your catalogue to date, and I'm not just saying that cuz you liked my last one haha This one truly spoke to me...it's delves a little deeper into melancholy than your usual work, and I just love melancholy :P Awesome work Julie :)

[MsJewel]

I'm thrilled you felt this one. Thank you for the lovely comment. :) Julie

[Tina Louise UK]

So very beautiful, a tender piece hun, enjoyed :) x

[MsJewel]

Thank you! :) Julie

[Lydia Shutter]

Your words tenderly embrace the world even though it might not be as sunny as you would like it to be. Who can we blame really? Life is what it is....sometimes sunny, sometimes cloudy. We need to learn to roll with the punches and accept it as it is. Such lacy imagery, Julie. A truly beautiful write. Lydi**

[MsJewel]

Roll with the punches - I like that Lydi...Thanks so much for your lovely comment. I hope all is well with you. Hugs, Julie

[wordman]

forgive the clouds the skys are gray loved it

[MsJewel]

Thanks Ron :) Julie

[Latifa]

marvelous mt friend, I love it

[MsJewel]

Thank you :) Julie

[Devesh]

"It is quiet
when silence speaks and deaf ears hold"

These lines as brilliant. Great job! :)

[MsJewel]

Thank you for your lovely comment. It is always wonderful to see you! :) Julie

[Devesh]

You're most welcome, Julie. It's always a pleasure to read your poetry :)