Village Inn at 3 in the Morning

A kid

with a deflated red balloon

looks over the booth

at Village Inn

at three in the morning.

His third-hand

Power Ranger

hand-me-down t-shirt

stained

by ten-year old

grape juice.

His eyes,

heavy

with the weight

of dependent parents,

are bloodshot.

His hands

are calloused

like a thirty-year old

construction worker

in the middle of July.

Quietly he asks:

“May I please borrow your ketchup?”

I oblige

and hand him the bottle.

He thanks me,

gives it to his father,

and continues to eat his french fries.

Author's Note

This is another beginning. What do you think?

Reviews

[cassandra violet]

I really enjoyed this poem because you took an ordinary every day, 10 second encounter and turned it into meaningful art. Through the observation of less then a minute you were able to say so much about this child and his life. So much emotion poured though- I loved it! You described him as a kid, but yet he breathed the air of age. Experience had molded wrinkles in his soul and you describe that beautifully. The imagery is great here as well, especially the way in which you describe his hands. GREAT PIECE! :)

[Dani]

I think this is perfect.

[C.]

I think it should stay the way it is--not every piece has to be a story. I think the potency of the way you captured this one particular moment and gave it an unorthodox significance makes what you have here a poem, complete and whole. Liked the beat of s2 and the inclusion of highly specific details to 'show not tell.' Very nice, justice.

[Jeff]

I like it. It's very sad to think of this child probably going without.

[Budd Black]

I like it. It had a good level of detail that really allowed me to see this kid. I pictured him with dirty blonde hair.

[Emunah June.]

I didnt understand this too much, but I like the flow and feel of it. Thanks for sharing!

[Laureeann]

It was very... different I like it

[Jordan]

I read the words "Village Inn" and had to go vomit, but after that was over, the rest of the poem was nice. Your description of the kid makes me glad not to be him.

[Misty Blue Eyes]

wow......this is amazing you captured this kid perfectly.... i have been to viliage in at 3 am before...fun times

[InkSlinger]

I like how with few words you create a whole scene.. a scene left for the reader to interpret, never really understanding where the story is going until you have read through it.. stopping for a moment to make sure you understand the message, then.. the light goes on.. just enough mystery to keep us interested, while teaching us a lesson..

[Joshua Smit]

wow... beautiful, shows how kids can thrive on few material possessions, so long as they have lots of love :D