Awaiting Ruins

Awaiting Ruins

A Poem by Jyoti_Ablaze



The minutes turned into hours
Hours into days, days into months
And months into years
Eons slipped by while she kept waiting
For nothing but a glimpse of him
Her eyes were empty and dry now
But a well was accumulated of her tears
Brimming and dripping droplets of blood

© 2015 Jyoti_Ablaze


Author's Note

Jyoti_Ablaze
Originally, written for a writing challenge by Bear.
Constructive criticism is expected.
Thank you for your time.

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Reviews

Great piece! A little punctuation could do! Well written Jyoti!

Posted 4 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

4 Years Ago

Thank you! :)
Waiting can be painful and you've expressed this very well here. Well done Jyoti. :)

Posted 5 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

5 Years Ago

Thank you!
whenever it comes to me i simply wrote the things that i think i can do or what i intend to do(sometimes when i passed through many sleepless nights)... but reality is always different that the real! But this is a madness and it's real. Can you tell the shakespear to write again! his 'sign no more laddies!'... A well crafted piece but this time it's different than waiting... this is called suffering... only ustad nurat fateh ali khan can mention this in his rog...

Posted 5 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

5 Years Ago

Imperfections and incompleteness are life.
Thank you for your insightful review.
Short and precise, gets the feeling across. It's not an error but I think the word 'passed' is an ill fit here, change it if you like, 'turned', 'became' (though here you would have to change the 'into' as well), etc. All in all a well written piece. I like it.


Posted 5 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

5 Years Ago

Thank you very much for the helpful review. I changed 'passed' into 'turned'.
:)
Waiting with no explanation can be more painful than being dumped hard and fast. Great poem Jyoti. :)

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Jyoti_Ablaze

5 Years Ago

True..
Thanks for the kind words, Andrea!
It reminds me of an old song i use to like very much. Nice imagery, from beginning to end.

Posted 5 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

5 Years Ago

Thank you, Alex!
Nice work Jyoti! I like the creativity :)

Posted 5 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

5 Years Ago

Thank you! :)
What my mouth spelt were already written by williard,Tks and puskar.
And yes I do liked the picture which reflected all the emotions perfectly.
Nicely done.

Posted 5 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

5 Years Ago

Thank you very much, Sudeep.
This shows us how dwelling on the past destroys our future and hope for a better life. The waiting in this poem is like a rope pulling us back, till we are in a state where there is no coming back to our normal selves.

Insight.

Posted 5 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

5 Years Ago

Yes you got that spot on, friend.
Thank you for your kind review.
Insight "MH"

5 Years Ago

You are welcome my dear friend.
Very short and straight to the point.i know how it feels to wait for someone who doesn't pitch up.i feel the emotions that go along with the poem,very well-written

Posted 5 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

5 Years Ago

Thank you for stopping by. I really appreciate it.

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Added on October 16, 2015
Last Updated on November 2, 2015

Author

Jyoti_Ablaze
Jyoti_Ablaze

Diamond city, India



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My Favourites: "Perfection doesn't exist in the world full of Individuals." "The soul always knows what to do to heal itself, but the challenge is to silence the mind!" "Don't die with all th.. more..

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