Prologue

"Let his story end here so that ours can begin. Let there be no grief within the world we were born. Let there be no tears shed over those we lost. Let us break down what makes the birds cease their morning cries, and what causes newborns to come into the world without even a first breath. Let there be no difference between what is called life and what is known as death."

The peaks of the Black Mountains loomed ominously in the distance, as if reflecting the grizzly scene below them. Rolling green hills dipped down into the valley which cradled the vast blue expanse of Llyn y Fan Fach. The sharp rise of the mountainside was bare, the weathered, ancient rock providing shelter against the harsh winds.

At the very base of the mountain, in the center of an amphitheatre of rock, a figure stood triumphantly over a mass of black fur. Breath rattled painfully through the creature, and the figure smirked, kneeling next to it. It appeared to be a large canine. “You’ve lost, Abitio…” The figure smirked, raising his blade. “And now it’s time to end you.” With a fluid motion, the man brought his blade down, causing a spurt of scarlet blood to coat his face. Grey eyes glittered excitedly, and a wide smile parted his lips. “I’ve done it.” He breathed, looking skyward as tumulus black clouds began to gather overhead.

 

The figure looked down again, the eyes now a hard shade of steel grey. Drawing his blade again, he cut away at the beast’s middle, and began hacking at the ribcage, intent on getting the bone away from the muscle. More blood soaked into the ground, and the body convulsed as the brain emitted the last of the nerve impulses before it finally fell still. A careful slice along the beast’s throat released a torrent of blood, which the figure stooped to collect into an empty water bag. He then rose and flicked his blade clean of blood, a smirk on his lips. “Halfway there.” He murmured, unable to keep the longing from his voice.

 

The figure carefully gathered now dead bush branches from around the animal and piled them overtop the carcass; then unwound a bull horn from his side, and let a smouldering ember roll out from the hollowed interior. Patiently, he built a fire in four spots around the body, and then stood back to watch it burn. Almost as soon as the fur began to catch, small, light-blue orbs began to appear around the figure and the corpse. The figure looked up, looking around slowly. He licked his lips excitedly. The globes emitted a strange light, and blinked in and out of sight. They hovered lazily, bobbing up and down on the ebb and flow of an invisible tide, some slowly trailing their way to different areas, their movement fluid, unhindered by the bindings of this world. More seeming to accumulate each second, however, the figure turned his attention from the spheres back to the burning mound of flesh and bone; watching the billows of revolting-smelling black smoke rise in plumes up into the air, becoming indistinguishable against the mass of black clouds overhead.

Author's Note

Please critique <3

Reviews

[Cheyanne-angele Lepka]

Look I finally started rereading it. I think the last time I read it was an earlier version - I don't remember the prologue. But all in all it was a good read; as usual your description paints a complete and colourful picture. As a prologue it functions very well; the word I would use to describe it is tantalizing. It brings up many questions that make me want to keep reading.
That said, in some places the wording is a little awkward - nothing I don't think would be fixed with another reading on your part. I should also admit that in some places I had to stop and reread it, probably because I'm pretty tired tonight, but it's something to consider in terms of ease of reading.

[Iota]

It was very descriptive and mysterious as who is this being wielding the blade of death. Yes I can see you have talents for writing stories as well as poetry. This is only the beginning, i have many questions but I will wait for next chapter to see what you decide to share with us.

[Jesse Przewoznik]

A very interesting and catching prologue to what I'm hoping will be a frequently developing story. With the piece maintaining a fairly short composure, it is hard to critique your writing style just yet, but I did notice you used the adjective 'black' multiple times, without going into much detail regarding its tone, pigment, etc. I understand doing such things can often get tedious and decrease the fluidity of a read, so ultimately the choice to alternate with terms such as 'gray,' 'dark,' etc. is up to you. All in all though, a very nice beginning.