Cold Streets

Sylvia Silver is introduced. Some of her background is revealed in Chapter 1. It shows how she has had to survive and struggle on the streets for quite a while.

  "Get that girl!” A guard shouted to his men. The iron clad boots drummed with hurried intensity that thundered louder than the brewing storm overhead. It was evening. The sky was dark and thunderous. Purple and blue lightning lit up the heavens reflected off from her pursuers' armor. Rain scattered down from the heavens heavily as did frightened tears from the frightened teen. The girl was talked about a lot in the town. Gossipy elderly ladies would say she still had relatives, but enjoyed the life of a filthy scoundrel. Many sighed in wonder of why she continued to run, hide, and had run away from the orphanage before she turned an adult age. The girl’s name was Sylvia Silver. Her father had abandoned his family soon after her mother had given birth to her. Sylvia was but twelve when her mother had passed on. In her soaked clothing she sat in one of her many hiding spots. A hidden door was above her head to the left. It was more of a large piece of wood that covered a hole in the ground. The hiding spot was a bit cramped, but it had to do. All that mattered to her right now was that it was hard to spot in this alley way, especially in this storm.

“That was a close one.” Sylvia gasped and shivered more from the close call than the cold. She removed her hood and waves of red hair poured about her face. “Blast, my jacket is soaked.” She stated the misfortune as fact rather than simply complaining. At nineteen she was an average girl. Her life on the streets did little to distinguish her from the lowliest of the peasantry. Her feminine features were oft hidden under layers of grime and threadbare clothing barely considered more than horse blankets. She wore black leather gloves that she had found sifting through the trashcans at night. They were dirty and full of tears, but rather than complain of their ill condition, she was grateful to have anything opposed to nothing. To keep warm in the winter season she had a faded gray, knit coat that someone had given her out of charity. Under that she wore a kind of dressy red cotton shirt that she had taken. Her conscience bothered her little with thieving from those who afforded more than they deserved. She wore a dark green skirt with black leggings underneath. Her footwear consisted of black, knee high boots that laced up; her finest possession.

“How long can I possibly keep running away like a criminal?” She asked herself as she watched her breath form in the cold. She hugged her knees to her chest and tried to retain body heat. “I do steal, but only to live. I only take food that the market keepers would never miss and would only cost a few coins, which I do not have. I steal clothes so I will not completely suffer in this winter. Or is there really no point in me living...” Her ears became alert when she heard some footsteps above. She sighed when she realized it was only some homeless like her trying to keep warm and start a fire of glorious warmth. She would have gone up to help, but she could not reveal her hidden places. The other beggars that wandered the streets were not as kind as you might think they might be be to others like themselves. Greed inhabited many hearts. “...but I do not want death...”Sylvia shivered curled up in a corner. As she continued to think about life, she fell asleep.

She got more sleep than she thought she would have. Now it seemed like it was morning, because of the calm of the town she heard. She decided to go above to the cobblestone streets. Slowly, she pushed up on the wooden board and peeked out. Everything was clear so she lifted herself out along with a small bag she carried. Snowflakes danced down from the sky. Sylvia hugged her arms around her stomach as it suddenly rumbled with a painful hunger.

“Bread! Would the bakery really miss one loaf of bread?” Sylvia walked straight ahead in the alleyway. She lifted herself as she climbed a wall. She caught bright sunlight in her eyes as she climbed atop the wall. The sun was behind wintery clouds. Over the years her agility had grown. She kept going and walked carefully over a roof. Below was the bakery. The streets were empty at this early hour. Shops and businesses prepared their goods to sell. She did spot a couple of guards that wielded swords along with a small gun at their side, across the street wearing their dark red uniforms, and funny looking hats. “I bet the townsfolk are happily stuffing themselves with breakfast in front of a pleasant fireplace. “Ah! How sickly happy they must be. With no thoughts of inviting any so called filthy, street thieves inside. We don't even know if we will have a next meal.” Sylvia knew this was going to be easy because there was only the baker down there. Perhaps she was slightly cocky at what she had become so good at. She covered her head with her hood. Then with quickness she jumped down and landed on her feet. She was not noticed. She gathered strength and then with swiftness and precaution she ran by as she grabbed a large, warm loaf of bread.

Not too soon after she heard the baker cry out, “Thief, thief! Guards catch her!” She pushed her fear away as she ran with knowledge of those guards behind her. She could not run to an underground hiding place. The town guards were too close. She turned into an alleyway; and she heard them say she had nowhere to go, and to give up. She never looked back, but continued to run. With strength built up over years she jumped up on a trashcan that fell over when her feet left the lift. Then with barley a struggle lifted herself up onto the wall. She climbed over. When she jumped down she was behind a house. She rushed to the front and quickly knocked before she twisted the doorknob. It was unlocked and she entered with no thought. Her heart pounded loudly in her chest. When she entered, she paid no attention to who may be in the house, but had quickly turned around to the door as she shut it. Her ear was against the door listening for the footsteps of the guards to pass.

“Who do you think you are?” A chair crashed to the floor.

Sylvia turned around to see a man. His wife was standing behind him at the kitchen table holding their small son. “I-I… it was unlocked…” She could hardly find the words to say anything.

“So that gives you a right to enter a stranger's home?” The man asked.

“Honey, she's a beggar girl. She is probably that runaway orphan that was never caught.” His wife informed with little emotion towards Sylvia other than surprise that she had barged in.

After all these years, people still blew her mind at the lack of care or empathy. She certainly didn't want anyone's sympathy.

“No thieves are welcome in my home! Get out!” The man shouted.

Sylvia shook as she stood propped against the door. The stolen loaf of bread was stuffed down in her zipped up coat. She was not sure what to do. She did not want to go out and risk bumping into a guard. Would this family have kindness? The father of the house already shared his bitter tone. “Pl-please,” her voice quivered, “sir and ma’am, I really don't have anywhere to go. I am hungry, and freezing in the snow out there. Could you find the kindness in your heart to let me stay a bit even if it’s for one night to be warm with a full stomach?”

“We cannot!” The man walked up to her; and if she were an unwanted animal gripped her arm, jerked the door opened and literally threw her out onto the icy ground.

Sylvia did not know what to think, but before she could; she had a feeling guards would be on her tail so again she ran. In the distance she heard the man call for the guards. They were far behind though. She wiped away unneeded tears as she ran and made it safely into a different hiding place.

She took out a rationed piece of bread and ate it down quickly. She sniffled. “Why?” She sighed. “Well, surely I did not expect strangers to show a poor, filthy, orphan girl kindness. Instead I'm treated like a nasty stray dog being thrown out of a home. They may be warm in their stupid house, but their hearts are cold!” She tried to hold back the tears welling up inside. There was so much pain inside. “What do I care? I can cry if I want,” and she did. She was still cold and numb. She sneezed twice and sniffled. “Great. What would it matter if I died from a cold? No one will miss a thief.” She sneezed once more.

“Who’s there?” A feminine voice asked.

With a sniff Sylvia lifted her head. She looked down from the tree she was hiding in. An elderly lady with white curls hanging loosely from her hat stood looking around. She was dressed in nice clothing. “Why is she looking up here?”

“Is there someone up in that tree?” The lady asked.

“Yes.” Sylvia answered after she hesitated a few moments.

“Do you want to come out of hiding, please?”

“Why?”

“I heard you crying, dear. I just want to help.” She reassured.

Sylvia showed herself. “Really?” The lady nodded her head and Sylvia jumped down out of the tree.

“Oh, so it is you, Sylvia Silver.” The lady smiled. “I have some gifts for you.”

“Why would you just happen to have a gift for me?” The lady motioned for her to come and sit beside her, and Sylvia did. “And why would you even want to give me anything?”

“Well, the guards were busy early this morning and I thought it was you giving them a good run so I was hoping to find you.” She pulled out a fancy, black wool scarf from a bag, and wrapped it around Sylvia’s neck. “There, I know you must be freezing.”

“It's so beautiful.” Sylvia spoke in a whisper. “It’s so warm and soft, too. How can I thank you?” She was stunned at the gift.

“Oh, where are manners? My name is Latasha.” They shook hands. “Would you like to clean yourself up and have your clothes washed? I have more things for you at my house.”

“Maybe...”She wondered if she could trust this old lady.

“I'm just an old lady. I'm not after you.”

Sylvia accepted with a nod.

“I don't want the guards to notice you so come with me.”

Sylvia did. She was not sure what to think of this nice lady. It was a cozy little house made of brick outside and wood and brick inside. Latasha removed her coat and scarf and laid them on a chair. Sylvia did the same, but held on to them and to the stolen bread. “Would you like me to wash your clothes, as well?”

Sylvia was hesitant. “A hot bath will be just fine, ma'am.”

“Yes, I suppose it is hard for you to trust anyone.” She went to get the bath ready.

Sylvia stood in the living room looking around. “Everything is so nice. There is a fireplace, wood floors with pretty rugs. The kitchen seems to have expensive dishes.”

“Sylvia,” Latasha walked from a side door that was left of the entrance, “the water is nice and hot and there are fresh wash cloths and towels on a small wooden table beside the tub.”

“Thank you so much for doing this for me. You do realize you could get in trouble if you were caught helping me?” The lady nodded and waved her hand like she did not care.

“I cannot blame you.” She was not worried.

Sylvia headed into the bathroom. It was a small room made of wood. Sylvia undressed and slipped into the tub. “The water is so hot and steamy. Perhaps I will not come down with sickness after all.” When she was clean and her skin was wrinkly; she stepped out and grabbed the nearby towel.

Latasha was sitting in a chair. In front was a table, which had plates of food and two cups of hot tea. “How do you feel, Sylvia? Come and sit beside me.”

“Thank you again.”

“It's my pleasure.” The old lady smiled. “Help yourself to a cup of tea. I made you eggs, and sausage and your loaf of bread is there.”

“You did not have to go to the trouble-”

“I wanted to. It would only waste in the kitchen.”

Sylvia helped herself and enjoyed it. “This is really great.”

“Hmm… that is an interesting piece of jewelry around your neck.” Latasha felt it with her fingers. The jewel’s shape was like a diamond, but long, thin and its color is a light blue.

“Yes.” Latasha looked up with question in her eyes. “My mother gave it to me when she knew she was going to pass soon. She told me it was generations old and that it held some sort of mystical capacity. I don't know about that, but I treasure it.” She continued. “I remember stories she told me of long ago about queens and kings and nobility. How amazing would it be to be from nobility.” Sylvia came out of her fantasy trance and looked down. “But nothing of that sort could ever happen.”

“Those are lovely thoughts though.” Latasha smiled.

“I think I need to be going.” Sylvia said suddenly.

“Ah, are you certain?”

“I don't want to stay too long.”

“I suppose if you must.” Latasha sighed. Sylvia stood and put her gray coat on. “Do allow me to give you some more gifts.” She walked over to Sylvia. “I don't know if you like the style, but I thought they would fit you well. Remove your coat for a moment.” Latasha placed a half jacket around Sylvia's arms. The black material added to the warm layers of clothing, and the pattern of roses was nice.

“I like it. Thank you.” Sylvia bowed.

Latasha touched Sylvia’s chin with a finger to make her look up. “And there is no need to thank me. I know how grateful you are. I put some things into your bag.” She continued when Sylvia sighed. “I put food in there for when you get hungry later on. In case you run into trouble I gave you various medicines in containers.”

Latasha walked Sylvia to the door. Sylvia turned, “Miss Latasha, I will remember your kindness.”

“You can always return.” Latasha smiled.

A banging came at the door. Sylvia jumped away. “Open the door for the guards!”

Sylvia felt a shot of fear inside as she looked at Latasha. “It seems I have already worn out my welcome.”

“Sylvia,” Latasha whispered, “go through the back door. There is a stone wall near that you can hide behind.” She took Sylvia by the arm and walked her to the kitchen. “The door is there. I wish you the best of luck on your journeys.”

Louder banging came at the door. “We will tear the door down if you do not open!”

“Yes! Yes! Give an old lady a moment!” Latasha shouted as she gave Sylvia a chance to run. Latasha unlatched the door and the guards burst through the door. They started searching around the house. The leader stood in front of Latasha. “Are you housing a criminal?”

“A criminal? Heavens no!”

“Oh, rumors, you know, feed a stray dog, and they are likely to return... feed a stray orphan thief...” The guard sounded all to sure that Sylvia had been there.

“No, I cannot help you.”

Sylvia was outside in the cold again hiding behind a wall where trash bags were. “I know they are near, but where am to go?”

“Guards, guards!” A resident shouted. “I saw her climb over this wall.”

“Go through the opening men! You three split up and surround her on the other side. Go!”

“Blast!” Sylvia threw the bag strap over one shoulder across her body, then put her coat on over the jacket, and zipped it up. The space was not too wide between the walls. She could go backwards or forwards and eventually end up at a dead end. She ran straight. The sound of her boots hitting the ground matched the pounding of her heart that she heard in her ear.

“Stop!” Two, tall guards dressed in dark red uniforms were behind her with long, sheathed swords, and pistols attached to their belts. Sylvia ignored their words and tried to focus. She saw a dead end ahead. Sylvia prepared herself and leaped up onto a ledge, and carefully walked along it. She climbed up onto a roof. “Maybe I should not have done this on the icy surface. I have got to think faster and smarter!”

“Don't fall, thief!” Two guards had made it onto the roof.

Sylvia stood up taller trying to hold her posture, but still aware of her balance as she held her arms out. She looked at the two guards who were unsteady as well. “What do I do? Where do I go? Oh, I hate the ways of these people!” Sylvia lost her focus, and felt an extremely uncomfortable grip. A guard was behind Sylvia and had one of her arms twisted behind her back where it was difficult for her to move. “We have you now, thief!” The guards warm breath was felt on Sylvia’s scared face. The tighter his clutch was the more she was forced to her knees. Resisting was no good. It only caused more pain, but she did not want to give up so easily. She tried not to groan from pain, but it was hard. She wanted to fight all of them even though she knew full well that she could not. “Ah, my dear, what is wrong?” The guards mocked her.

Sylvia was now completely on her knees. Her face burned with anger.“I suppose being caught after all these years was inevitable, and completely my own fault.”

“What should we do with her, now?”

“Oh, let’s see. We could lock her up or…” The leader bent down to face Sylvia. He touched a strand of her hair. “On the other hand, who would miss her?”

“Get your hands away from me!” Sylvia screeched. “What are you thinking?”

“Throw her off the building!”

“The blazes you are!” Sylvia felt a rush of adrenaline and she went with it. She gathered her strength, raised up enough, and kicked the guard behind her. She kicked him in the knee, which was enough for her arm to be released. She stood and avoided his punch. When his punch missed, it made him lose balance and fall backward, and off the roof onto the pavement with a thud. Sylvia did not have time to react because the other two guards were coming at her. She saw a flat roof to her side. With no hesitation she took off and jumped. “I made it!” She said in an accomplished voice as she continued and climbed down. She made it to one of her underground hideouts. “I am safe, again, for now. Why do they push harder at trying to catch me? And that guard… he may have fallen to his death…I did that…” “I hate being here in this cold place!” Sylvia cried out. “Mother, I miss you!” She pulled her necklace from under her shirt. “What was the purpose of you giving me this necklace? When you gave it to me, you spoke words I did not understand at the time.” She repeated them. “With a prayer, a smallest whisper, hurt and lost, you will be found, you will see your inner most desire.” She rubbed the jewel with her fingers. “Mother,” she whispered as she sucked up her tears and sniffed, “I remember the stories you told me. I remember the magic and myth, the bravery, and kindness that you made sound so very real.” She laid down on the ground. “I don't want to be here. I have nothing here. There is nothing to live for. I have to steal food to fill me for barely one meal, run, and hide and that makes a full day. Then there is the cold, loneliness, confusion and hate.” Before long Sylvia had cried herself into a very deep sleep. It seemed like a lucid dream. Inside herself she saw a black background and then a bright blue-white shining from her jewel. She saw her hands reach to the jewel around her neck. Her hands closed over the jewel, but it seemed as if the jewel was emitting power of some sort that could not be contained. Light burst through her fingers forcing her to remove her hands. She felt like she was falling, and falling deeper and deeper.

Author's Note

this is from 2008 and i am tweaking it.

Reviews

[Meat of Dog]

This piece is descriptive and well written, such that I had literally no problem imagining it. I would use this as a model for new writers who are struggling with description and driving the reader’s attention. At first I wanted to ask what the point was of her talking so much out loud to herself (I assume it’s out loud) but I actually realize in retrospect this is a really cool detail whether you meant for it or not. She’s running from an orphanage and is seen negatively by her peers so talking to herself portrays a sort of lonely self-trust that I would think is common for someone in her position. Heck, that’s common in people with emotional problems from abuse that have more even than her.

It’s harrowing how inconsiderate and cruel the people are in regards to her type but not unlike those in the real world. In fact, studies show that most people unconsciously see the poor and homeless as objects rather than people. Can you believe that? She seems soft and kind still, upholding morals such as stealing only for hunger and such, thus it shows good character that she can remain good in this situation. All of the street kids I knew (and believe you me I knew MANY homeless street kids) more than half of them stole for pleasure, revenge, and spite. I was glad though when the elderly woman offered her some help though, she’s too likable a character to keep getting tossed around.

I can relate to Sylvia’s feeling of being overwhelmed by the juxtaposition of being showered in gifts, but at the same time Latasha’s manner made me a little sad to think of how lonely she must be. She has that distinct, lonely grandmother feel that made me want to crawl in her lap, ha! You had a good sense of suspense with her running and animalistic climbing to escape the guards and I found myself also worrying about Latasha, hoping she wouldn’t get in trouble or punished for aiding Sylvia! You’ve done well, obviously, to build attachment to your characters. Also, nice cliffhanger! I’m excited to read the next part, for sure!




Suggestions:

“she was grateful to have anything opposed to nothing” this is a bit redundant. I would leave it at ‘anything’ or ‘anything at all’ since the words ‘opposed to’ already suggest the opposite of having anything.

“might think they might be be to others” The word ‘be’ is doubled and ‘might’ is used twice a little close together. Perhaps change it to ‘would think they might be’ or ;might think they would be’.

“up to her; and if she” I think you meant ‘as if’

“all to sure that” too

“The guards warm” guard’s

“She laid down on the ground” lay

[Silver_water_dragon]

Thank you so much for the feedback! Honestly I wasn't expecting to get that good of feedback. I'm my worst critic. I'll review your work in return when I can.

[Meat of Dog]

You're quite welcome! I figure saying 'wow that's neat' is nice but really unhelpful, you know? I share that problem but try not to be too harsh with yourself or you'll end up rehashing the same work forever in one of those perfection pursuits. That would be awesome if you took a look at my stuff, if you get the time I'd appreciate it but no rush ;)

[Silver_water_dragon]

Yeah it took me long enough just to be ok posting a story public haha. I just don't really let people read my work. Not everyone seemed interested that I know. But I knew it needed opinions. Just not looking forward to the bad ones lol. Yes I will review yours when i can :)

[NotaBene]

I really liked it you are very good at describing scenario's and creating a scene. I am not sure if the old kind woman will ever be featured again, but there is certainly much you can do with that character. Kindness can so often be a rarity in this world, that it was nice to have her character introduced. The overall chapter was well written and also heavily reminded me of the opening scenes of Aladdin. You did really well on the dialogue as well, and I was able to easily envision this.

Great Job!

[Silver_water_dragon]

Thank you! That means a lot. I thought I wasn't great at describing scenes, but perhaps I have gotten better. You should read the original before I changed it haha. Just seemed bad to me. I was great at wording sentences awkwardly.

[Enayet1999]

well written, well done!
your future is looking bright
May i ask if you can review my chapter one official?
Cheers

[Silver_water_dragon]

Thank you! Yes I will review yours when I can.