Sunken Pumpkin Faces

I have a slightly autistic nature of getting attatched to words/phrases that just sound awesome. Here is the product.

 

Sunken pumpkin faces,

the first sign of snow

the first sign of death

Such a quietly disturbing sight.

Sunken pumpkin faces,

made from childish fancy

no one seems to see them

quite like I do

Macabre, skeletal, frightening.

Sunken pumpkin faces,

they look fit for guardians

sentinels on a grave

life’s cruel fate, no one sees them

Until they begin to rot.

Sunken pumpkin faces.

Author's Note

Hope you enjoy it, I know I did. And about the syntax(possibly?), I just like the way it looks where the capitals are, I don't know why.

Reviews

[Civiana]

I believe your vocabulary isn't as big as it should be to perfect this poem. The idea is great, and it is obviously original. It could use a few more lines. Also I must say you are a bit too soon with repeating the line "Sunken pumpkin faces" And to some it may seem to choppy and unpoetic

[EILEEN McGUINNESS]

Nice poem dear i think the photo of the sunken pumpkin face looked kind of cute i know i feel like it right now and believe it is a warning to us all that we must always be on our guard against death,danger and the possibility of losing our sense of humour.
This poem was written with tongue firmly in cheek i think, i can't imagine seeing a pumpkin sat on a tombstone or grave but there's always the first time,it would be smiling no doubt and would have developed a pair of hands with one placed on it's left cheek probably sighing in my case with a cute grin.

[Holly]

I can really appreciate word play, especially with the first line, hope to read you again.