Prologue & Introduction

This is the prologue and introduction basically letting you into Runo's world.

Prologue

 

     Love doesn't ever really plan to arrive. It enjoys surprising it's patients. It brings about the upmost surprise to the unexpected. Some may say that it is all about trust but it runs deeper than that. It is about unity and devotion, a connection linked between 2 entirely different souls, creating a single unity. Love doesn't lie. Once you feel true love you know it. You know you have it in your tangible grasp. And once you meet that person, there is no going back.

 

     Everyone has a soul mate, their other half, a partner that is bound by outside forces. Love never dies. It is omnipotent. And it is divine. It is never-ending.

 

     Runo never ever thought she would even begin to know what the first taste of love was. All she had ever known was heartache. Her life had been an anomaly, a chain of events that had unfortunately left her in shambles. Sometimes she had to ask herself if her pulse was still ticking. Her pain was so great she didn't know if she could survive the tribulations and the sorrows.

 

     But I am getting ahead of myself. You know nothing right now. Nothing except her name was Runo and she has had many hardships. But what you need to know is how it all began...and so begins our story.

 

The Introduction*

[RUNO]

     Ever since she could remember Runo felt different than everyone else. Runo  was not like the other girls. While their interests were discussing the boys, applying their makeup and strolling the malls, Runo enjoyed the simpler things. The things that meant more to her than anything else in the world: CROWS. ART. POETRY. She never felt herself fall to the fancies of the interests of girls her age. It was merely a coincidence that her name- Runo- was Finnish for 'poem'. She hadn't learned that until a couple of years ago when she'd gotten curious and googled it. She knew her parents were from Finland, but they weren't around any longer so she didn't get to ask them why they named her after something as great as Poetry. She had many things left unanswered. No one bothered to tell her anything.

 

     Ever since before adolescence, in elementary school, Runo was 6 years old watching the other children frolicking on the playground as the gravel stirred and the laughter rang throughout the hilltops. She had no desire to join their games of freeze tag or Red Rover. Runo sat gazing at those hilltops imagining what lay beyond them as she scribbled furiously in her notebooks, writing of the dreams and pictures that entered her precious mind. Oh, that beautifully networked mind she had! Truly, it was glorious, that mind of hers.

 

     Her parents left no trace after the age of 3. Runo had lived her life in foster care and she hated it. She'd had to move around for various reasons, some she tried to numb away and not give much thought to. Her current foster home was more appropriately called a 'Foster Hell'. But none of that mattered as long as she could see the crows.

 

     Maybe it sounds silly to have such a passion for a flock of birds but she loved to watch them when she could. She would sit on the back porch, when the atrocious authority figures weren't around, and Runo knew she had a connection to these birds, some way...somehow. They seemed to gaze back at her with those perfectly cut onyx eyes. And as they cackled in a poetic mannerism...she longed to join them in their flight on wings of ebony.

 

     Sometimes the desire rose so greatly she felt like at this very crux in time, sitting on THEIR back porch, not hers, which she must NEVER track dirt on. She felt she had possibly sprouted charcoal wings and joined her brothers and sisters in the blanket of Heaven's gem stones and was set free from this palace of intoxication.

 

     "Silly girl." She would whisper to herself once she snapped back to reality. She was always stuck in this dungeon. To the outside appearance, from the on lookers view, it was your typical American dream house. There was a white picket fence and a garden, as quaint and perfect as you could ever imagine. But inside was Foster Hell. Runo was given a cedar closet under the stairs for a bedroom and they never really fed her proper meals. There was a lock on both the pantry and the refrigerator. Runo knew there was so much more to life than this.

 

     A tear began to trickle down Runo's face as she dwelled in the painful memories of abandonment. That was, until she saw the crows outside of her window. She smiled as she gazed at these ebony creatures. They were so good to her. Nothing captivated her like this. Not the sparrows, or the crimson cardinals, or even the glittering hummingbirds. All birds were beautiful to Runo, but none could compare to the crows.

 

     Runo was now 17 years old. She had been in 2 foster homes before this one, and had been molested of in both, once by the father figure named Ralph and the other by an uncle who frequently watched the kids named Tyler. Runo was terrified of men. She had never had one a boyfriend all. But no one really talked to her. She figured she didn't need a boy to make her happy. She had her resources of artwork, poetry, and the crows. Those were the things that solaced her enough.

 

     The Winters had 2 biological daughters, Abigail and Natasha and they were priority one. It was almost like Runo didn't exist. Abigail was 14 and already a wild child, sneaking out on weekends, and smoking pot already. Of course the Winters didn't know that. They just pretended Abigail was the golden child. Natasha was 6 and was one of those children you see screaming on Nanny 911. But to Brock and Marie, they were perfect and Runo was just the foster child. At the time they didn't have any other foster kids and that left all of the chores and abuse to fall on Runo's shoulders.

 

     Abigail and Natasha each had a spacious bedroom. When Runo was taken in they emptied our the cedar closet underneath the stairs, complete with bugs and cobwebs. She had the floor to sleep on and an old ratty blanket with rips and tears in it. Runo refused to believe that. There had to be more to the story. They gave her up because they loved her and wanted what was best for her didn't they?

 

     Runo was the foster child, and she had to cater to all of them. It's almost a modern Cinderella story. Only this had more misfortune than Cinderella. Runo sometimes wished she could be Sleeping Beauty and fall into a deep slumber but never awaken again. Brock was a severe alcoholic, and an abusive one at that. Sometimes Runo would have to put makeup on the bruises. The saddest part was, Runo believed she would rather be physically abused than sexually.

 

     The worst part was the hypocrisy! The whole family was members of the Disciples of Christ church and the attended Sunday School and church every Wednesday and Sunday. Runo was left at home alone and that was how she liked it. A moment of tranquility away from Natasha's fits and Abigail's attitude. Marie's orders and Brock's drunken wraths.

 

     There was only one other thing that Runo found pacification in besides the crows, and this one wasn't healthy. That would be, the slice of a razor blade to her right wrist and forearm. All Runo wanted was to make sense of the life she was dealt, and self-inflicted wounding seemed to be the only way to assure herself she was still alive...enduring all of this pain. Runo was chasing away her troubles with razorblades. It seemed to be the one thing to calm her troubles.  No matter how much Foster Hell put her through, this would help her when the crows were nowhere to be found. She could escape to that place of despair where she could slice away all of the emotions and let them seep out from under her skin. And she could start over and begin to feel again. The razor blade was a talisman to Runo. Nobody knew about her love affair with self-mutilation except she would tell the crows when they would gather in the backyard.

 

     Runo just knew the in the pools of their ink colored eyes that they understood her. She was divinely connected to them somehow. Scars crisscrossed up and down Runo's arms, but they were a way to wear her pain. She wore long sleeves all of the time anyway, despite the Texas heat, because she wanted to cover her body. She didn't want any men looking at her. Runo had true pain dwelling deep inside her that could not be expressed any other way. The pain could never hurt as bad as what she felt inside. This was a private battle for her.

 

     When the gashes got too deep Runo would sneak up into the attic and find Marie's sewing kit and stitch up her lacerations herself. She'd had plenty of practice sewing up holes in Natasha's jackets or T-shirts. Bleed out the pain, stitch up the holes of heartache was her routine. Runo didn't see any reason to go to school but she would go on occasion. Sometimes she wondered if she was invisible. She didn't care about graduating high school at Lexington High. The only thing she cared about was flying with the crows away from Texas to Helsinki, Finland to find her parents.

 

     She pondered for a moment trying to recollect the impossible, She tried to remember what being in their arms felt like. She tried to imagine what it must have felt like to be in the hospital as an infant, so frail and feeble. Runo knew in her heart that they were still out there in Finland. Excuse me while I backtrack a moment.

 

     Sometimes Runo could remember and envision herself, a small child, running barefoot along the beach. There was a tall woman, with long black hair that unraveled like a silken ribbon. Her eyes were almond-like and sensual. They looked so carefree with the natural setting of the ocean. As the waves would crash and roar, so would her laughter.

 

     And then a handsome man, with that same ribbon-like hair that fell to his shoulders, his was dirty blonde and he had jade colored eyes. He would pick her up and spin her around. She never felt happier.........

 

     "RUNO!" Marie called making her jump and deleting the memories one by one with her nasally voice. "You need to alter Abigail's dress for the 8th grade dance- It's next Friday." Of course, Runo was catering to Marie's children when they could have hired help, but didn't because Runo was Slave Girl. Natasha this. Abigail that. How much more could she take? She was zoning out and Marie slapped her across the face. "This isn't day dream time, Runo." and she shoved the aqua dress into Runo's arms.

Nothing out of the ordinary. Runo decided while she was sewing she might as well inflict a wound upon herself. She took the razor out of the little container she kept it in and started slicing on her arm. She had dozens of little scars, but she opened up one of the few sections she didn't have any. The tingle nearly brought her to her knees and she just couldn't stop. She dug and dug until the skin was split. She held her arm upright, she had done this many times. She suddenly wished she was more careful when she dribbled a little drop of blood on Abigail's aqua colored dress.

 

     "Oh F**k." she whispered very softly. There was no way she could get it out. She just decided she would ignore it when Abigail decided to b***h about it and say she had a bloody nose or something. Runo had more important things to worry about, she had a gaping wound on her forearm. She wiped the blood with paper towels and shoved them to the bottom of the trash can in the attic. She took the needle and thread and stitched up the laceration like it was nothing, which it was really no big deal to Runo. She snipped the last thread with the scissors and pulled her sleeve down on over it. No one would ever know, or so she thought.

 

     After she had altered Abigail's dress she walked back downstairs into the kitchen. "Poor Runo. Nobody wants you! Nobody wants you!" Natasha sneered. "No wonder you have been in 3 foster homes. If it wasn't for us you'd be on the streets!" Abigail laughed an evil laugh. "I'd rather be on the streets." Runo whispered under her breath and walked to her cedar closet.

 

     Later, the crows were busy rummaging through sticks and stones on the ground. "But more than the streets, I'd rather fly with you." She whispered to them. Runo didn't care if it seemed crazy talking to crows. She had always done it, ever since she could remember. Nothing had been normal about childhood.

 

     She remembered other girls concerns being buying a new Barbie doll that said 9 different phrases, when she had to worry about being molested in her foster homes. She had certainly had a roller coaster life. But 14 years later, Somehow things didn't add up and Runo was just left in the dark. And it just seemed like no one wanted to answer the questions pulsing in her mind.

 

     This was how the razorblades came into the picture. Since she had to become silent, the blood was the only way to know she was still alive. It was ever so necessary to trace lines down each aquatic vein trying to unlock the mystery that was HER LIFE. Numbing the pain of 2 parents who mysteriously disconnected from her life and vanished without a trace, and a foster family who's dysfunction was slowly killing her.

 

     The very first time she used the razor, it took Runo away from that intoxicating palace for a few seconds while she saw the blood ooze from an open gap. For once she owned a moment, she realized. It wasn't being sold by Marie and her orders. It wasn't being sold to the butcher to slice and chop away the membranes into pieces. It wasn't being sold to the baker to burn it to a crisp at 100 degrees or the candlestick maker to dip it into a canister of wax and create another scent and sculpture. This was Runo's one moment to herself. This was her ecstasy, she decided digging deeper into the skin she had opened up herself. This was her own chore! It wasn't assigned by Marie.

 

     She felt a high that was almost unexplainable to the sane. She was now traveling back to the palace rather than this horrid dungeon. A place she only knew in implicit memories past the cobwebs of painful ones locked up inside her head. She could see rays of sunlight shining down on creatures like tame fawns and rabbits playing in a nearby forest. And of course, a corner for the crows to harbor, for they are always welcome.

 

     This lovely palace is complete with those stained glass windows. She is spinning out of control, in a whirlwind of memories. She is in a dream-like state. The stained glass looks freshly done with pictures of faces she's known she's seen in her dreams. Was she dreaming now as she spotted one of herself but in completely different form?

 

     It looked like Runo, only some traits were different in  a very noticeable mannerism. There were no lines down her arms, no pink scars from the razor's glory. No trails of black down her face. There are no black ringlets around her eyes. Her hair is long and luxuriously falling to her shoulders. There are no tangles or matted pieces and it's not breaking off from malnutrition. And her body...it is no longer famished. It is voluptuous for she is no longer starved.

    

     Her arms are round (unlike the marrow of a bone) Her breasts were full and her body curvy like a woman is supposed to look. In her eyes, the sorrow and sadness were gone and she was glowing. Her cheeks are pink and no longer pale and sunken in. She is a healthy young woman, not a deprived sullen child. Runo noticed all of these things but the one thing that catches her attention more than anything is the most dazzling smile. That upward curve in her lips exposing a set of pearly white teeth. Runo touches the picture of this portrait of herself that doesn't really exist...Yet this is the person dwelling inside her. This is who she is supposed to be. Had youth really been stolen from her? This was unbelievable.

 

     She lay against the portrait sobbing for a minute. This was a dream and she wanted to wake up now. She wished more than anything she could become the beautiful woman in this picture. But she wasn't going to...and she knew it. Her body was so sickly thin, her ribs showed, she had no breasts, her hair was tattered and broken off. But could she have been that beautiful if she had lived with her parents?

 

     She jumped awake as she heard the caw of a crow from outside the window. She knew he was trying to help her. He was telling her that somewhere in this abyss of despair there was still hope. Maybe one day everything made sense. Maybe she could still connect to her parents...Some way. Somehow.

 

Author's Note

There is a lot of myself in Runo, that's why I created her.

Reviews

[SpeedyHobbit Armstrong]

The story of Runo and her tumultuous childhood definitely drew me in- she's coping with struggles most teens do not. I was saddened by how circumstances drove her to self-harm and hope that with her gifts she will be able to improve her own lot in the end. she's a complex and admirable character for retaining a glimmer of hope despite how dark things get

[Ziggy Jagger SpiderFromMars]

Thank you so much for taking the time to read about Runo. She is a very dear character to me and how you said that she is complex and admirable is exactly what I was going for when I created her. There is a lot of myself in her, even though my situation never got that bad but I was adopted from an abusive home and I did struggle with cutting. You are totally right about how Runo retains a glimmer of hope even when things get dark, that is exactly the kind of message I wanted to create in the introduction to the first book in the series! Thank you so much again for reading this. I really appreciate it (: