Shadow

A dark place where I will always remain......

We came into school together today

Side by side nothing new

When everyone saw her they said "hi darling!"

Yet I was left with no greeting

 

 

In the shadow I remain

 

We sit next to each other in class

Friends love to talk to her

Even though I'm in the middle

I'm left out

 

In the shadow I remain

 

At lunch she talks to he

I watch him from the side

He never looked so happy

He never looks that way when he talks to me

 

In the shadow I remain

 

In choir she sings beautifully

People gaze in surprised awe

My voice wavers as it turns weak with disappointment

I don't matter now

 

In the shadow I remain

 

Everything I try everything I do

She does it with grace and elegance all the way through

Behind her I am chained

In the shadow I will always remain

 

In HER shadow I will always remain

 

Author's Note

Please tell me if there are any grammer errors and what you think of this piece. Thankyou.

Reviews

[Angelic Darkness]

This is a good poem. A poem about no one really seeing you,
the person you are. Sad, but it is a fact of life.

I did fine one error that I wanted to mention.
In this line: At lunch she talks to he

I watch him from the side.

It should read, at lunch she talks to him, and you shouldn't add another him in the
next stanza. I feel you should change the whole next stanza....watching him from the side.
You do write good, just need to be a little more smoother, and reread your work.

[hhoosh]

The first time I read this, I thought "Too much self-pity", but, reading it the second time through, I realized I could relate, and the self-pity is the most common shoulder to cry on. This is phenomenal in its truth aspect, and the style I enjoyed as well. Takes courage to write something so honest, well done.

[M_S_Lay]

I was suddenly transported back to high scool.
I think we've all felt this way at one time or another, and you captured the moment and emotions wonderfully.

[James Takeo Panton]

This is fine work......