Queen without a thrown

Placing their problems in your head.

Behind these hazey eyes,

Is a life of broken lies,

Where promises turn into disses,

Leave me alones,

Turn into- "if you dont pick up that telephone!"

Peace and tranquility,

Harvest in the back of shadows,

Where concentration has deliberations,

While fighting off demonds of self destruction.

As.. the adveristy that pummles through my mind..

Knocks down holes in my great wall.

Sancity is a loosing battle,

And insanity- Its my operators manual.

While, my mind tries to tranfer these negative words,

Into beams of light...

But unfortunatly,

Lies dont hide.

I need to breath,

I need to feel the subtle release-

The let goes of the hopeful...

Cuz I am hopless.

What I really need is for you to listen to me!

Watch me bleed!

As I slice through my platinum skin-

You see diamonds within.

I try to, disconnect myself from your needs,

As I evaluate

- reassociate myself with your wants...

My hypocrasies...

I block articulated thoughts-

By clouding my judgement,

As I identify your wants...

And turn them into my needs.

Perfectedly beautiful,

Easily amused,

Inside a train wreck, from years of abuse.

Life as it seems-

Is a redundant vicious circle of repedative motion,

As one doors opens to the path you just left.

I need to realize that real eyes...

Are judging my next step.

I cant catch my breath!!

I have no desire to take another step!

Fearful for what might happen next...

I hold firmly with my grip,

As reality tears a rip,

From underneath my finger tips.

My ability to translate my thoughts,

And turnthem into words-

While transfering them onto paper;

Is my biggest curse.

Because my mind drifts off to battles unknown-

Inside of my mind,

I am a queen without a thrown