Broken Toy

I watch your kisses fade away

Your smiles all disappear

You thank God I'm home to stay

But indifferent, when I'm near

The love I see within your eyes

Are remnants from the past

I'm no longer your heart's prize

The promise didn't last

You gave your country all you had

They gave you back a chair

That's all you see, you're always sad

But war is never fair

I'd rather they shot me in the head

So I wouldn't know your name

They took away your life instead

But I'm the one you blame

I watch each day as our love dies

Crippled, I've stolen your joy

You look at me with pitiful eyes

Like a child sees a broken toy

Reviews

[Priscilla Sayers]

This piece not only is full of intense emotion given to us in such a smooth well written poem, but it also fills me personally with outrage to be honest. I am a very sensitive person, sensitive to the emotions of others and for one to have to feel this type of hurt cuts my to the core. Of course, I would not want anyone to feel this type of pain, this type of sorrow..... I know that there is always the possibility that this piece may be written about another and not you personally, either way it becomes a part of me.... It makes me want to ease the pain, find the one who caused it an educate them in the kindest way, I am never one to WANT to be abrasive to another even though I have been known to get that way when standing up for others.... Yet, know this my friend, sometimes we must look beyond the surface of the emotion we can see or feel from another, beneath the layers of combined emotions that easily rise to the surface lies the truth, that raw emotion that set the others to blaze, to form, they become an array or confused mixed emotions. We are all human, and humanity naturally is complicated. The simplicity of the core emotion felt by the woman in this piece is what causes the other less desirable ones to emerge. I don't want to write a book, always giving you more than you probably want with my imposed analysis so I will leave this as is my friend. Message me if you truly want to know more. I am not saying I am an expert but I do have insight into the human mind and heart and how it works from a lifetime of tough lessons and deep sensitivities towards these matters. So.....
Much love my friend,
sending you love and light!
Always here for ya!
P

[Whiskurz]

Thank you my friend....this was written from a friends experience....I could see his pain and it truly broke my heart.....God Bless.....Whisk

[Priscilla Sayers]

Thank you for clearing that up. My passion for others can cause my to feel like jumping through cyberspace to wring the neck of the calloused hearts, yet, when my truth gives me rational thought it is always the original emotion that drives the calloused to become so. Sorry about your friend's pain, if I can help in any way, even just through the words that may educate, let me know. No one should ever suffer that type of pain if it can be helped.
Much love dear!

[Creepy Swine Guy]

Wow! This starts a deep pounding ache of the heart. I cannot imagine that this is NOT from some personal experience. It's too visceral not to be. Technically, my only suggestion might be to look at the rhythm in the last stanza. But what I hear as a smidge off is not catastrophic and in no wat robs the piece of any impact.

[Whiskurz]

Thanks my friend.....Whisk

[Drowning In Reality]

That's so sad. Well written... obviously. My heart breaks as I read it. You really conveyed deep despair this piece requires. I know it is personal to someone, but I'm glad it's not you... as I read below. A deeply moving work. I look forward to reading more.

[Whiskurz]

Thanks my friend.....Whisk

[Jack...]

Wow, very intenese and so much sadness expressed in a few short verses. What are we when we are broken, something to be scattered to the porch, strewn on the curbside or still ourselves no matter how we appear? I think the latter. Nice poetic expression of the pain some must endure.

[Whiskurz]

Thank you Jack.....Whisk

[Dalia]

This one is heartbreaking
I loved it, smooth style

[Whiskurz]

Thank you my friend.....Whisk

[creativequill]

this is incredibly heartwrenching and sad, very powerful and emotion invoking

[Whiskurz]

Thank you my friend....Whisk

[creativequill]

very welcome

[Muse]

I watch each day as our love dies
Crippled, I've stolen your joy
You look at me with pitiful eyes
Like a child sees a broken toy

I know that look...and it haunts you for life. Flawless execution in this poem.

[Whiskurz]

Thanks Muse.....Whisk

[silentvoice]

wow very easy to read, yet very powerful and true...a real representation of how war is fought long after the gunfire and bloodshed have faded and ceased great job ~ SilentVoice

[Whiskurz]

Thank you my friend....Whisk