An Angel Crawls

I finally wrote something new. Thought I'd do an angel poem since there are several on here tonight. :)

An Angel Crawls

 

 

Lightning shatters serenity, once upon a tranquil moment,

As the vanity of pride capitulates its proponent.

Chastised and cast down by a boastful denouncement.

Now feathers, charred, scrape across this turbulent sand.

The desert inferno burning both knees and hands.

Burdened now by gravity, it finds itself unable to stand.

It cries out against such an unfamiliar sensation.

Pain and agony, the birth of its humanization.

Lost and left destitute, its soul consolation.

Breath comes thickened and demonically laborious,

A suffocation felt languishly slow and dangerous.

A birthing rite torturous and so insidious.

It slams its fragile, bloody fist against the grains

And chokes out "Father, I want to fly again!",

But Nothing listens as it crawls on in vain.

 

 

Legion

20July08

Author's Note

Not able to check for spelling errors right now. Not in my usual place. Let me know if you see any.

Reviews

[Helen Woodward]

Perfect!!! I tried to fault it but couldn't (kidding) You are a writer my friend in every sense of the word. You have written this eloquently and with much emotion. You poured your heart onto the page. It reminded me of Nick Cage's movie "City of Angels" very moving. A perfect example of wanting what you can't have because it will do you in. You take your reader to a higher level of thinking...Sublime!!!
I am featuring this on my profile and sending it on to Phill.
Kudos, with deep respect for a wonderful piece of literature that brought out emotion in this heart...
Thank you.
Helen...

[LSS]

You're good. Your mind is quick and accurate. I love the way your poetry flows without trying to pull it into some organized form. Wish I was half your talent. I also notice others are very careful to point out your typo's and need of corrections. I've been editing almost right away after posting, as, like you, I'm my worst critique.
Lar

[LadyLove]

OK...laborious..in place of laborous; vain...in place of vane; uh, did you intend on soul or sole meaning only?; and lastly, did you want the word nothing at the end capitalized on purpose as an entity or was that an accident? Otherwise, I love this poem. It has anguish! Blessings!