Blue

I'm in a bad place right now.

Can I please resign from this hell?

My mouth is dry and my eyes are unwell

Crashing into dreams and waking with a fear

Everything is available and nothing is clear

Where do I check in to get rid of this bill?

I’m sorry, daddy, for taking that pill

You see, its blue colour is making me feel

With each one I’m turning more numb

With each one I’m becoming more dumb

Reviews

[MachinaWriter]

I know this feeling. I keep trying to pick out a line or stanza that best fits my feelings and thoughts, that really rings the most true to me. But they all ring true in my heart. If I had to pick a favorite line, it would be all of them. Powerfully written, evocative, very sad....

I've written a lot of poems about the very same feeling, I think they may interest you. I have one called Sleepless, My Soul is Torn that I think might really ring with you. Or any of them, really lol I'd love to get your thoughts on them, since we seem to feel similar things.

[Ina Waltz]

It gives me great joy to hear that someone connects with my work.
I will check it out, thanks for letting me know. :)

[DoNt LoSe YoUrSeLf]

We all enter a bad place sometime in our life, just gotta keep your head up and work through it. It's not easy, but it's possible. I went to bed last night and woke up with a nightmare...scared me so bad so I could barely go back to sleep. Dreams and nightmares can bring you anything...whether you like it or not...and I believe some dreams can be bad or scary, not just nightmares. Dreams have that ability too.

[3rd Chance]

With a faintly sinister note, this poem expounds on the backfire of addiction, with literary seance that spins a web of confusion around the subject, who slowly begins to ail; the rhymes almost make it a song, albeit a dark one, and though short, it delivers its painful message, in your trademark style. I'll have to agree with eglantine though - 'dumb' doesn't belong in a raw powerhouse like this - though precious little other words rhyme with 'numb'.

[eglantine]

Good structure.

"eyes are unwell" is my favorite bit in the poem.

I'd cut the last line--dumb is not a great word to use in such a raw poem.

Thanks for sharing!

[That_Girl]

Sorry it's taken me so long to return!

Ahhh yes, anxiety, depression, pills... I know all too well. Wonderfully penned, my dear! The last two lines are perfect!

[Ina Waltz]

Thank you, dear. I've been busy myself so I understand! :)

[The Refined Poet]

wow, many can relate to this.

[Ina Waltz]

Thank you for your review.

[Marie Baskerville]

i can really relate to this poem... unfirtunately it describes a period of my life that i dont like very much, but it is beautiful how you write this and describe what is going on

[Ina Waltz]

Yeah, it isn't the side of me I'm proud of either... but it helps to talk about it and share your state of mind. Thank you for your lovely review, Marie.

[Stanley Wilson]

great emotive work

[Ina Waltz]

Thank you!

[amarlaksh]

At first the "unwell" word was just forcing the rhyme scheme. Then don't you think that it could have been written a little longer. Except for that, I really liked your composition but the message was a little bit obscure. Anyway good write

[Ina Waltz]

Why is that? Maybe if you could elaborate...?

[Jo March]

I like your regular rhyme, very emotive poem

[Ina Waltz]

thank you for your lovely review.