Chant I (1/10)

Chant I

Once there was a Champion, justice he protected;
     though granted with ample adulation
     his humility kept his feet grounded.
     Missions he took were of brave conviction,
     he came rushing to where he was needed.
     His physique so grand, words lacked description;
     he trained his body until exhausted.
     Forever he longed for one companion,
     standards so high, they left him deserted.
     A lad with promise came as a vision,
with so much excitement, he then started his search.

He left Affronta City with such absurd haste,
     he only managed to grab his axe-sword
     and a bag of gold coins laced to his waist.
     Neglected the call of his noble lord,
     his status of grandeur was then defaced.
     Ignored the hindrances he can't afford,
     he journeyed the lands with no time to waste.
     Every city he passed were all explored,
     his feelings were slowly being misplaced.
     one day he stumbled upon an ad board:
a hero for hire that meets his expectation.

He looked at the ad board and read it carefully--
     at first he was shocked, then filled with dismay.
     A man used his name with perversity,
     his wrath came upon, reasons shut away.
     He grabbed the board then crushed it thoroughly,
     the crowd was shocked by his power display.
     He gazed at everyone so forcefully,
     the crowd responded by shying away.
     One kid, however, remained comfortably.
     He said, "I know where he is, by the way."
The Champion grabbed the kid and asked, "Where's the f****r?"

Author's Note

Summary: The Champion, the protagonist, is introduced.

Reviews

[Nick.B]

Interesting introduction, the champion looks promising, I will read on to see what the champion has in stored for us.

[BlueDreams]

Nicely penned down :) liked the notion :)

[gombeggar]

hmm...very good structuring of words

[Mike Emil]

reddie-freddie mercury is the only champion that comes to mind
damable f****t
but i digress on my own thoughts
your writ has some old style qualities
i approve, for now
show us more work

[Barbara Walker]

This is the first introduction i have read in poetic form. Nice job. You have one line that you begin in past tense, but ends in present tense. They should agree. ...he came rushing to where he is needed. he came rushing to where he was needed...is correct.

[Paper Forks]

thank you for pointing that out! I also want to thank you for reading.

[Barbara Walker]

My pleasure!

[CecilA]

I like what you've done so far. The intrigue and suspense continue to develop well. Now I need to know more about the kid; how he knows so much and his audacious attitude.

Do you intend to keep going with this one or is it one of your previous submissions?

I hope you keep working on it because it has promise.

Thanks for sharing.

[Ufi Auttorri ~ UfoAutho..]

Well, you had me all the way to the end! I like the way it moves from the 19th century speak to the 20th; going hyperbolic there at the last. Nicely done!! :)

[icelandicblue]

I laughed out loud at the end- the build up was so medieval and the ending so modern. I'm not sure if you meant his build were so grand or if built is what you wanted. I enjoyed the tale. I look forward to the next installment.

[Paper Forks]

I'm glad you liked it. Not quite sure how to fix it either. Thank you for reading.

[bOhEmIa (mahim)]

Impressive.

[CecilA]

Geon,

This is coming along nicely. I really got into it and anxiously await your next chapter.

There are a couple of grammar issues but I know that you will work those out as you progress. Right now I don't believe you need editing. Your story needs to progress and then you'll sort out any tense and possesive issues. So write on. Great job. Thanks for sharing it.