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Silver Dust

Silver Dust

A Poem by Riv

I'm not going to sound so stupid am I - So ridiculously impermeable

You can cut my throat all you want, stand in my doorway passage through time. 
My gods when I feel so run down - where am I supposed to go otherwise. 
Like broken strings, mine have been pulled on by myself so hard.
Yes, I'm sad - but I'd rather spend the rest of my life trying to make everyone happy.
Then trying to fix myself.

© 2015 Riv


Author's Note

Riv

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Get this out of the way first - The first word of the last line should be 'Than', no??

Now, I don't think impermeable. One way to cheer oneself up is to make other's happy, Help others to help ourselves and all that baloney. But the utter confusion in this is a snapshot of a very busy mind trying to make sense of the world and the other-worlds. Its really dramatic - like the speaker is saying 'I have something to say and as soon as I work out what it is I will damn well say it!! but for now - stick around and enjoy some tantalising visuals..." - which there are throughout this brief piece.
Its left-field, sure but not to the extent of being gobbledygook-gook so i guess the pre-amble is just rhetoric.
For me this is indicative of places I have been myself - so this resonated Riv.
Better out than in as they say my friend.
:)

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Completely selfless, this is how I lived my life many years until I found out it made others happy for me to be happy. A great write that really explores the mind :)

Posted 4 Years Ago


I like the way you are thinking.
"Yes, I'm sad - but I'd rather spend the rest of my life trying to make everyone happy.
Then trying to fix myself."
I have learn becoming a old man. Better to try to be kind and help other people. I believe if we live with concern, kindness and love. We will find happiness too. Powerful words and thoughts dear friend.
Coyote

Posted 4 Years Ago


Riv

4 Years Ago

One day if I can make the people I care about smile, that's enough for me.
Coyote Poetry

4 Years Ago

This is all we need my friend.
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dan
Trying to fix one's self is often the most impossible of actions and yes, helping others may be preferable. But isn't the act of helping others a good thing, a WAY to fix yourself? Kill two birds with one stone, use one method to right the ship and sail on a bit fixed, more to come later. Nicely written piece. take care...dan

Posted 4 Years Ago


Riv

4 Years Ago

Indeed, making others smile brings joy to my heart.
Riv, The most important relationship that you will ever have is between you and GOD! Period. None will be greater. The second most important is between you and how you treat yourself.Everything else and everybody else comes after that. Get yourself straight!


Posted 4 Years Ago


Riv

4 Years Ago

Unfortunately I'm agnostic, so my relationship with "god" is minimum ^w^ I'm just positive he should.. read more
"My gods when I feel so run down" does not work for me and I am not sure what would work beyond at least taking the "s" off "gods".

Helping others is a great distractor to personal pain. It brings some missing joy and happiness to the heart.
Keep the faith young lady.

Posted 4 Years Ago


Riv

4 Years Ago

My gods was on purpose xD but it does sound odd I suppose.
Willard Wells

4 Years Ago

Well then it's your work and your smile so go with what you wanted. It is always your final view tha.. read more
All-righty then!
Honesty makes poetry so palatable Riv. But I think of this poem as one my mother would have
written, when glaucoma allowed her to still write. As poets we have a million feet. Some we place
in history. Some in objectivity. Some in artful liberation. And some of our left over feet we place
firmly in folk etymology. The sad part is that some of those feet want to wear 5 inch stiletto's
while the others go barefoot and pregnant. But so what. That's what experimentation is all about.
To find out what fits best, without hurting...

I love this...dana



Posted 4 Years Ago


Get this out of the way first - The first word of the last line should be 'Than', no??

Now, I don't think impermeable. One way to cheer oneself up is to make other's happy, Help others to help ourselves and all that baloney. But the utter confusion in this is a snapshot of a very busy mind trying to make sense of the world and the other-worlds. Its really dramatic - like the speaker is saying 'I have something to say and as soon as I work out what it is I will damn well say it!! but for now - stick around and enjoy some tantalising visuals..." - which there are throughout this brief piece.
Its left-field, sure but not to the extent of being gobbledygook-gook so i guess the pre-amble is just rhetoric.
For me this is indicative of places I have been myself - so this resonated Riv.
Better out than in as they say my friend.
:)

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on November 7, 2015
Last Updated on November 7, 2015

Author

Riv
Riv

Apple Valley, CA



About
Alright, let's do this. My name is Riv or Abby. Either one works. I'm eighteen years old and really love writing poetry on my spare time. While I do write novels and wish to publish one or a few one d.. more..

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