Must be a fault in my code

Must be a fault in my code

A Poem by Riv

My eyes are changing black
My teeth are aching
Curse my heart and claw my skin
It's all too funny isn't it?

Her brain is black,
Her veins has stopped pumping.
All her vitals stopping,
Only herself to blame.

Laughing at the moon.
Creature of the night among them.
Even if she's fully conscious,
It's a devilish sight to see.

© 2015 Riv


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Author's Note

Riv

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dan
PLUS really good choice for musical accompaniment. Again, well done. take care...dan

Posted 4 Years Ago


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dan
The guy is painfully viewing a love coming to an end, cancerous voids joining together for the kill shot. A very descriptive write that still leaves the reader guessing. Making the reader think is always a risky tack but worth the risk in the end. Well done. take care...dan

Posted 4 Years Ago


I enjoyed the use of the good description.
"Laughing at the moon.
Creature of the night among them.
Even if she's fully conscious,
It's a devilish sight to see."
The above words. I did like a lot. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

Posted 4 Years Ago


I was going to suggest the same as Willard but I just saw it :) I enjoyed the write Riv :)

Posted 4 Years Ago


One small suggestion "Her veins has stopped' change the "has" to "have"

Interesting write that seems to have a personal message in it.



Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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B
I see in this write
separating from a man she is dying without him
slowly

Posted 4 Years Ago



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Added on November 23, 2015
Last Updated on November 23, 2015

Author

Riv
Riv

Apple Valley, CA



About
Alright, let's do this. My name is Riv or Abby. Either one works. I'm eighteen years old and really love writing poetry on my spare time. While I do write novels and wish to publish one or a few one d.. more..

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