Queen of the Castle

Hasleys-Castle (rewrote)

I'm sick of all these people
Who stick around just to watch me bleed,
Where were you when I was choking
Couldn't find my self esteem;

I was broken feeling used
Hoping I wouldn't have to choose,
I'm already choking on my vows
Now there's no use in lying about it;
Lying about it (x3)

We're headed straight for the castle
He wants to make me his queen,
And there's an old friend sitting on his own and he's saying
That this psycho shouldn't be so mean;
We're headed straight for the castle
They've gotta keep me locked up,
And there's an old friend siting on his own and he's praying
That we should keep our broken hearts sewn shut;

Straight for the castle;

Oh all these midnights passing
Pick before I have to choose,
If you wanna break my walls down
Take the heart Im gonna lose;

Now inside I'm open wide
Begging for the hope you hide,
I'm already choking on my vows
Now there no use lying about it;
Lying about it (x3)

We're headed straight for the castle
I'm wanna make her my queen,
And there's an old friend sitting on his own and he's saying
That this psycho shouldn't be so mean;
We're headed straight for the castle
They've gotta keep her locked up,
And there's an old friend siting on his own and he's praying
That we should keep our broken hearts sewn shut;

Straight for the castle

There's no use lying about it (x3)
There's no use crying about it

We're headed straight for the castle
He wants to make me his queen,
And there's an old friend sitting on his own and he's saying
That this psycho shouldn't be so mean;
We're headed straight for the castle
They've gotta keep me locked up,
And there's an old friend siting on his own and he's praying
That we should keep our broken hearts sewn shut;

We're headed straight for the castle
I'm gonna make her my queen,
And there's an old friend sitting on his own and he's saying
That this psycho shouldn't be so mean;
We're headed straight for the castle
I'm gonna keep her locked up,
And there's an old friend siting on his own and he's praying
That we should keep our broken hearts sewn shut;

Straight for the castle

Reviews

[gentlekindness]

Great song. I could hear the music as I was reading it. I'm a guitarist and song writer, so it played right in my head. I'd love to hear it performed.
Keep writing.
Annie💕

[Ana Papaya]

I thought it read fine and really it's about what it means to you and no one else.

[Valentine]

For me this makes little sense. Valentine

[Coyote Poetry]

I enjoyed the story in the poetry. I wanted to read more.
"We're headed straight for the castle
They've gotta keep me locked up,
And there's an old friend siting on his own and he's praying
That we should keep our broken hearts sewn shut; "
The above lines. Solid and strong. The good tale left visions and thoughts for the reader. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[V]

Is this a poem or a song? I'm kind of confused by the 3× marks...I found some nice lines in it, however some, in contrast, read clumsy or forced, I think you just wanted to make them rhyme and you ran out of matching words/expressions, f.ex: that this psycho shouldn't be so mean reads almost a tad hilarious regarding the entire topic/frame as well as sewn shut; I understand what you want to express but somehow it doesn't read well to me, the words sew and shut just doesn't belong together in my opinion...
I hope you don't mind my straightforwardness, I like to give constructive reviews and critiques.