I Cry the Rain

I cry the rain that falls from skies

from tainted twisted messed up lies.

I have no heart to tear apart

you took it babe, you left your mark.

Now in bed, I drip blood red

from a bullet lodged in my head.

And now I say on this fateful day

never will I be okay.

So I cry the rain that falls from skies

from your tainted twisted messed up lies.

Author's Note

Please Review

Reviews

[Charles]

Great litle poem about a metaphorical experience (I hope the bullet isn't literal). The rhyming is perfect and meter is consistent except for one slip (omit the you in the 6th line and meter improves without losing anything in meaning). Notice that I don't find the number of feet is a problem from line to line (eg 10 in the 7th line but only 7 in the 8th line), but the rhythm seems disrupted by the 'you.' Good writing. :-)

[James K. Blaylock]

Very powerful! Although so super sad! Be blessed

jkb

[lindsay]

Ouch. Twist the knife a little harder. A really dark-yet great poem here. Well done.

[Tina Kline]

A dark tragic poem of tormented emotions. Extremely well written. Very dramatic.
Nice job on this.

[Keevan]

very good. nice write. thank you for entering this in my contest

[Brianna Brie]

Super stunning job! The meter is amazing! Full of emotion just like I love poetry to be.

[Katie]

This is stunning. The imagine this poem paints in my head is amazing, for you to be able to do that- you are truly talented. Great job.

[Coyote Poetry]

Poem is outstanding. The poem flowed perfect. It was a pleasure to read. Would be beautiful poem to be read a loud. Every line had a purpose. A sad poem but written with a excellent Poet pen.
Coyote

[mystic soul]

i agree with other reviewers it's short but it touches the chord... great work!

[Undying Glory]

short and epic i say. awesome work