I Cry the Rain

I Cry the Rain

A Poem by LivingDeath

I cry the rain that falls from skies

from tainted twisted messed up lies.

I have no heart to tear apart

you took it babe, you left your mark.

Now in bed, I drip blood red

from a bullet lodged in my head.

And now I say on this fateful day

never will I be okay.

So I cry the rain that falls from skies

from your tainted twisted messed up lies.

© 2011 LivingDeath


Author's Note

LivingDeath
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Featured Review

Great litle poem about a metaphorical experience (I hope the bullet isn't literal). The rhyming is perfect and meter is consistent except for one slip (omit the you in the 6th line and meter improves without losing anything in meaning). Notice that I don't find the number of feet is a problem from line to line (eg 10 in the 7th line but only 7 in the 8th line), but the rhythm seems disrupted by the 'you.' Good writing. :-)

Posted 14 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.



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Compartment 114
Compartment 114

Reviews

very good

short but definitely leaves a lasting impression. love that your ending was also your beginning.

overall, its written well.. has a darkish vibe with your words but still very lovable.
good job.


Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Wow, this is seriously amazing! Short and sweet! It's very darka and meaningful. I love the flow and the point behind it is good. It's touching and it's a great short poem! Perfect! :)

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is beautiful and so unique.. It has darker meanings twisted together in one message.. AWESOME!

Posted 14 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

aww great poem(:

Posted 14 Years Ago


Amazing :) I love this

Posted 14 Years Ago


Very meaningful and sad, really deep. I really think you wrote this beautifully and I love how you started and ended the same way. Great write :)

Posted 14 Years Ago


Aww, tyler *hugs* your poetry makes me cry :'(
Beautifully structured, graphically exquisite, and emotionally powerful. Another amazing write.

~Blessed Be

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

yes i liked this..but that must be love..its a torture..
it can come with lies,little deceit here and there
those who dont have the heart for it should stay away
its not easy to love ,and impossible not to love
very difficult situation we have here,ha ha
and yes love is full of hurts and heartbreaks
that will leave a mess and scars that may take long to heal
lovely write..

Posted 14 Years Ago


I'm assuming this is about the heartache love causes. Your pain is expressed in every line and I like how you ended it with the same two lines you started it with. Another amazing piece.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

wow this is amazing i love it

Posted 14 Years Ago



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2182 Views
40 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 3 Libraries
Added on January 12, 2010
Last Updated on August 5, 2011

Author

LivingDeath
LivingDeath

Abbotsford, British Columbia, Canada



About
"I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not." ~Kurt Cobain. Wasssup guys! I am me, if you want my name, ask me for it. Life in every breath, is my motto. 22 years old, living .. more..

Writing
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