Death Angel;; The Pit

Death Angel;; The Pit

A Story by Elizabeth Allier

Lynn. Jacob. Cassidy.


--Death Angel—the Pit—August 2, 2097--


Lynn gritted her teeth and pushed through the metal doors, beneath the hardcore metal club known as the Pit was a government facility in which young men were being experimented on, changed, and made into mindless soldiers. She stood out against the bright white hallway, her attire consisting of black jeans, a hoodie, and black and white converse; she let her ebon hair fall to her waist and a look of pure malice passed over her pallid features. She was there for two reasons, one to collect her son, Jacob, and two, to kill Cassidy.  She reached the end of the hallway and pushed through a second pair of metal doors, it opened into a dark lit room, crowded with men from the ages of 13 to 30, and they were standing in a circle surrounding another pair fighting. An image from Fight Club filled her mind as she pushed through the crowd, she pulled the two apart recognizing one of them as Jacob’s friend, Tyler Andrews, she gripped the front of his shirt and yanked him out of the ring, and Lynn slammed him into the concrete wall, “Where are Jacob and Cassidy?”

He grinned foolishly, “F**k me, Mrs. Hawthorn,”

She pulled her hand back, clenching it tight into a fist and brought it down on the left side of his face, “Where?” She growled.

“Okay, he’s in the back with Cassidy,” He relented with a shrug, “Don’t get your thong twisted…”

Lynn smirked and brought her knee into his crotch, “Nice to see you to Tyler,” He fell to his knees clutching his crotch and whimpering, she sidestepped him and went behind a black curtain to the find a dark corridor, at the end, bathed in light sat her son, he was bleeding and looked paler than usual, there were bruises on his young face and her heart wrenched at the sight of him. Kneeling in front of him was Cassidy; he had his hand on Jacob’s shoulder and he was whispering something, Lynn growled and kicked Cassidy’s side knocking him back into the opposite wall. Jacob jumped to his feet and hugged his mother, she wrapped her arms around him as he began to speak, “I’m sorry mom, I’m sorry I ran away, I’m sorry I said all those things to you and dad…I’m sorry…”

“It’s okay Jacob, just come home…” She whispered, glaring at Cassidy while hugging him.

“I can’t, I don’t want to go home, and I don’t want to live with you…” He mumbled.

She stepped back and nodded, “Oh…okay…” She turned around to glower at Cassidy, she opened her mouth to curse at him and to kill him with her hands when she noticed the look in his eyes, it was familiar, sad violet silver eyes, she sighed, “Come on,”

Cassidy got to his feet and followed them as they went through the underground chamber to the top floor of the Pit and outside. Lynn ushered Jacob into the front seat and shoved him into the back of the black Camero. She drove them home, biting her lip the whole way there, she pulled into the driveway and turned to Jacob, she opened her mouth to say something but shook her head and got out, Jacob sighed and disappeared inside the house, she took hold of Cassidy’s arm and pulled him inside and through the house into the basement. She shoved him into a chair and took a deep breath, “Answer truthfully, who are you?”

Cassidy shut his eyes and opened them again to look her in the face, “My name is Aryan William Hawthorne, and I’m your son,”


© 2008 Elizabeth Allier

My Review

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Very good! I like the premise behind it, its pretty original. I wish they would make more Soldiers out of metal heads. You flesh out the setting very well in few words and leave enough to the imagination to give everyone an individual perception of the room. Another typo "nice to see you too, Tyler" but overall very good!

Posted 13 Years Ago

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'Twas good li'l lady. You have a typo there at the beginning.

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Posted 15 Years Ago

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2 Reviews
Added on August 7, 2008


Elizabeth Allier
Elizabeth Allier

Shadow Land

Hello, I am Elizabeth Allier, I am someone who cares but doesn't (depending on who you are) I currently reside in Shadow Land, right in between the October Country and the Night World; I love wr.. more..