A Brand of Pain

still looking for the light.

She told me she'd never leave me,
That we would be together forever
But still she wove her clever plan,
Pushing me into the quicksand of time and fate,
As I sank in a timeless void of space,
She could not rewind to a time when our love rung true,
Above I see her face as I slowly sink,
Tears falling from her eyes for the love that we could have had,
Fears of the past are gone as I'm finally swallowed,
The world turns black and all I know is pain,
Tears strolling down my face,
For I had been betrayed,
By the one I loved the most.

Author's Note

I wrote this piece after me and my girlfriend broke up. I didn't know if I should share it but I'm kinda glad I am sharing it.

Reviews

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Heartbreaking piece, and a good way to explain how it felt to you.
Heartbreak is never fun.
This was a heartfelt, sad but meaningful piece, filled with lots of emotion, and written from your heart.
I enjoyed it.
By the way I read your about me. at only 15, you have a big future ahead of you, and a lot of time to find miss right. Obviously this girl wasn't right for you.
Keep writing to, I saw that you have started not long ago. Writing is wonderful so keep going with it.
Lovely piece.

[lonewolf225]

thank you so much for your review cimmy :)

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Anytime Anytime :)

[E G TEN]

Hey Wolf, better now than later my friend, believe me on that one, this is a great write expressing your most sincere emotions and feelings towards a significant other, thanks for sharing,, plenty of fish in the sea!! :-)

[lonewolf225]

Thank you for your review and advice :)

[sereenaoutloud]

This is such a raw write you can feel the despair woven throughout your words, that sinking feeling of being lost in the hurt and pain...you describe it perfectly.
Sorry you had to go through this but excellent write!!

[lonewolf225]

Thank you for the review I'm glad you like it :)

[WolfyZara]

It's hard to get over someone who you thought was the special person or you still do. But you can make a new path. Life has it's ups and downs but you should keep moving on. I feel the sadness of this poem.

Sorry for what happen about your girlfriend but it's no use moping around your house for. I don't want to sound like a mean person but it's best to get out there again and find the one.

[lonewolf225]

very true... thank you for the advice :) glad you liked the poem.

[WolfyZara]

your welcome

[ANTO]

A tryst may be a good idea at the time but not worth it in the long run. We've all been there LoneWolf. Im sorry you had to write this one at all but Im glad you feel you can share it with your WC friends.
The quicksand metaphor is powerful and the POV of the one sinking is well conveyed.
Well penned my friend.

[lonewolf225]

Thank you for the review. I'm glad I can share personal poems like this with you guys.

[ANTO]

Certainly - if not here, where?

[lonewolf225]

Nowhere, I wouldn't feel comfortable sharing it with any other group of people. :)

[Amber Lily]

Each and every piece an author writes, is a work of art. Even if it's from heart break, I'm glad you shared this with me today :)
The pain is real, I can feel it in your words. I think that's the best thing about it. You know it's a good write if you have made your reader feel something inside them.
Great work :)

[lonewolf225]

Thank you!! I'm glad you liked the poem. And I'm glad you felt something reading it. :)