Deceiving Reality

She was numb, hands in limp fists on her lap, as she sat on a moldy park bench. The wood was rotting from all the weather and time that had beaten it. The young woman's dark hair swept just past her shoulders, bangs almost covering her eyes, but not in them. Her petite figure slumped, putting all strain on her back in a way that made her look like she had worked centuries, and this was her first break since the beginning. That wasn't too far off.

Life was hard on the spirit.

Green eyes scanned the roads, people watching. There were rushing business men pushing their way through mothers with children- late for work. In contrast to the expensive suits and ties; homeless men lay in tattered winter clothing in crooks of building alley ways- despite the scorching heat- but these men had no choice. Sweaters, jeans, and gloves were dealt with. A  suspicious man scanned for cops while trailing a woman with a Gucci bag, and another was trailing a school girl. Humanity at its finest can be sought out in the city- that was for sure.

The girl's eyes now raised to the sky. A brilliant blue stretch that seemed infinite to her, littered with white trails of clouds. The sun was awaiting to shine behind a larger one than all the rest of the moving puffs. So, she stared at the sun, waiting for it to come out. Her mind wandering around her head in different directions. First of people; and how they were so contradicting. Then of the sky; and how it was so wide and endless. And lastly; of the world.

Her eyes remained locked on the Earths' moving azure even though the epiphany on her surroundings was creeping up slowly. It started in the back of her mind, just out reach. Her conscious recognized it, tried to grasp it, but it was lost. Getting turned around with stray thoughts and memories. Taking a long detour. The forefront of her mind embittered by how close it was to its hold struggled against the rough current. Despite the battle between secrets and knowing, her face remained calm even though the headache started to pound against the walls of her skull from the strain. Her eyes ever remaining on the sun behind the clouds.

What was it now? That had her mind in a hold? Finally, in perhaps a desperate attempt at finding what was lost in her spirit, she looked down from the celestial sphere and to the grassy planes where humanity had destroyed much of its beauty. Gray pavement, towering structures, and garbage plastered on the sidewalks; there was little concern for the natural Earth. Just for the honking taxis, impatient cars, and buzzing noise of endless chatter. Just what was concerning with their own personal lives. Nothing more.

The itching for the pressure in the back of her head came back, she would like to know what her unconscious self was trying to say. Mindlessly, her expression turned stoic and very concentrated. Unknowing bystanders to her internal battle shot crossed looks her way. Why would someone so young hold such a look? She had nothing to think about. And the lasing impression the passing silhouettes had of her; freak. They had know idea she was trying to unravel secrets meant to be kept hidden.

But she was. Though looking outside in, she knew she looked strange with such a look in her eyes, staring intently at the people and the places. And when she was gazing inside out, she knew she was looking at the figures all wrong just as they were to she.

A thought slipped in. Small. Intimate. That's how most epiphanies start. They are misunderstanding. Such a simple thought. Her brain racked itself for something more, sensing this minute had something embedded in between it's letters, seeping into its spaces. Her expression turned more- looking similar to a monk's that was meditating.

And she finally found what she was looking for, eyes widening with the realization that had finally taken place.

Pedestrians still walked by, unaware that the girl stumbled upon something worthwhile, they continued to go by thinking nothing was worth anything at all. Especially one, a boy passing her bench with a hood over his head on a hot summers' day. Nothing in life was good. Nothing that needed to be lived for. Many would call this child depressed, suicidal. And he was.

Her eyes raised up to meet his eyes, her epiphany causing a wise look in her eyes that attracted the boy. She was just sitting, content, gaining wisdom. He couldn't understand why someone would do that. Didn't she know she looked like a psycho with such a look?

Equally puzzled, she gazed up at him. Sometimes boring lives change with craziness, that's why she didn't know why people were so against it. He looked like an oddity that had tears in his eyes, except he wasn't crying. So how did she see those tears? Her recent understanding of something so simple caused her to look further into his eyes. His impression of her being a psycho growing more towards insanity as he noticed her deepened gaze.

There were zero words said between the two strangers.

He isn't suicidal. He is searching. Searching for something to live for- because his hope was stolen by such a cruel place. Her mind assessed, a small smile that was much too weak spread. He in turn gave her an awkward smirk, and a nod.

Something unknown in him told his heart someone finally understood what he was going through, that that girl understood him, as he joined the current of people on the sidewalks again.

Such a strange day for everyone around that park bench, so unknowingly close by such a trifling thought from one out of the mass. They could have all understood each other, gotten pass the smoke and mirrors. Humans were funny things, keeping everything at length. Causing their own pain and suffering whether they agreed with that or not. So very deceiving.

Reality in general, deceived the world. That was her realization. Recognize the deception, and move pass it to greet something real. That reality kept safe from the spitefulness of life, hidden in its sheets. If you could find the realness reality kept- you could break what humanity created. Distance.

She left that park bench that day, determined more than ever. Finally having something to live for- she wanted to change the world. To take the deceiving aspects from it, tearing it apart and piecing the parts back together leaving what man had created out. Even with the undying determination, even with years going by. While, even though she tried still at the age of 88, others pushed her kindness away or took it for granted. Yet she continued. With that much vigor to change, you would think something minuscule would happen. She even lowered the goal, to pass on her knowledge of the deceiving reality to someone. And she tried.

But never succeeded.

Author's Note

Any tips on how to improve my imagery?

Reviews

[BluRaven aka Bootsy]

jus so u know, u have gr8 imagery. and if u could improve it, i wouldnt know how

[Mitchell J.U.]

I would also say: Give the work some time away from your thoughts. Come back to it with a fresher mind and see for yourself if anything requires corrections. In the end you will always be your best critic and editor.

[Mitchell J.U.]

There is much to explore in the ways of existential and humanist writing. I feel you captured the attitude quite well. You use just the right amount of language to get the emotions and feelings across. I have nothing else to say about this piece except the wayward human spirit radiates through your writing well.

[Eve]

Imagery was good - I like the strong descriptives "moldy" park bench, "rotting" wood, etc. I was able to visualize the characters quite well.

The content here is fantastic - sort of speaks to a common existential crisis - "why are we here, what is the point of our reality?" and so on.

Just needs to be polished up around the edges...I experienced a few of the paragraphs as somewhat wordy. I wonder if trimming off a bit of the excess content/padding would help convey the overall thrust of this piece better? In other words, the raw emotion of this story is strong and you could parallel that process by thrusting the reader right in.

[Taskuhecate]

I'm not sure this particular piece needs better imagery - but I suppose adding a bit more color and contrast could help with the idea of distance and reality and deception - that how things are seen is not always how someone else sees them/how they really are.

I actually rather liked this! The part with the boy was particularly good and I found myself liking him, even if he was only in the story for a short while. Great job!

[kink]

too serious writing..all was grey all the time it was something much mature..you earn my respect on this.

think what you are going to draw and whether it is able to hold someone..(: