True Pain

My heart, My heart

Oh the pain 

I had all to lose

And nothing to gain

You work so hard

to find the one

but the pain i found

can't be undone

i never ever

wanted to go

i just wish 

you hadn't said no

oh man, oh my 

what i would do

so just for a minute

i could be with you

I do believe

we would be stronger

had you decided 

to stay with me longer

the one thing i don't know

Is why

Could you tell me

why you said goodbye

My heart, My heart

it turned to dust

i keep wondering

what happened to us

All this pain 

i just can't stand

Feels like being slapped

By a giant Hand

Reviews

[zombiikillah666]

this sounds really good. keep up the good work. amazing :D

[H-Jonesy]

Good poem it flowed well and showed emotion.
The only hing is there's no punctuation *gasp*

[Dom]

Awesome poem! I loved the flow of it and it was strong with emotion. Nice job. :)

[Jennifer.]

i really can relate to this piece and the emotions you describe simply yet honestly. I agree though about the ending, i'm sure you could have chose a better analogy, you seem like a strong writer. Besides that, amazing piece!

[sweetylee1994]

lol. A Giant hand....??? hehehe I like playing critic. Anywho- I loved it. I think this is the best one yet. ^-^ But What the heck??? A Giant hand???? You are more artistic then that. lol jk Good job. ^-^

[Deaths Cold Kiss]

good write, i can relate