Broken

 

Walk me away from all sorrows walk me away from all pain

If you look and happen to see the strobe lights within me wane

Let the dark holes in my soul be filled with my own storied art

Don’t shed a tear for me little one or my crimson scarred heart

 

Ocean waves of promise for years I thought would come in and beach

Yet for each parting day with the bitter wind my soul to leech

Lay me down no light and love and songs to guide me home to you

Till I crack and all the colours peel and nothing is my due

 

Raised always on that harsh arid platform of cold concrete panes

 Broken bloody promises that edges my worth and now stains

Living always with the shadow of night shining on my day

You the prize had me clutching straws until I lost my way

 

Here I am dreams unfulfilled and a repeat of yesterday

 Let my escape be the chattering head that embroiders clay

The stars that shine above remind me of loss and boldly ache

Let me enjoy the hopes of thoughts that only I can fake

 

Let me smell the rain and see the rainbow and my heart still soars

My mind always wanders and is lost forever from safe shores

 

 

Reviews

[Cascara (aka Sprint Goe..]

The last stanza is my favorite- it shows some hope and a sense of moving on from so much pain. And the part of your mind wandering was a splendid touch- our minds can either divert or submerge us from pains- it really shows how strong our thoughts can really be.

[MOON]

Many thanks, take care!

[Alveron]

Words are often used to try and capture an image of feeling. However, you are trying to catch the feelings of a wandering soul. How do you try and capture something that is wandering? The answer is that you don't. You describe the feelings of the wandering soul, and that is just what you have done. Great Job

[MOON]

Many thanks, so appreciate your review, take care will stop by soon!

[MoriartyMesa]

In many ways this reminded me of a cell of anger that seem to stretch moment from moment and you got it one stroke. But proud cause this is a jewel in the nile so to speak.

[MOON]

Hi, good too see you, thanks for the review.
Go well!

[Antoñyo]

Whoa...whoa...

I'll be back when the words aren't stuck in that big swallow

[Sugar Plum ♥]

beautiful and touching piece about pain and love...it`s surely sometimes we search for this "sorrow" and pain...Isn`t it so nice to be lost in "safe shores"? i like this expressions much...all poem sounds enchanting, real, full of life. I loved the last lines:
Let me smell the rain and see the rainbow and my heart still soars

My mind always wanders and is lost forever from safe shores

-----nour----
july-013

[David Scott]

I found this poem sobering Moon.
To me the best stanza was,
"Raised always on that harsh arid platform of cold concrete panes
Broken bloody promises that edges my worth and now stains
Living always with the shadow of night shining on my day
You the prize had me clutching straws until I lost my way"

In this stanza I felt you were really giving the truth of your heart. No point or conclusion needed to feel the totality of the emotion. This stanza could be a poem all on its own...

A very enjoyable read Moon. Thank you for sharing it.

[MOON]

Thanks David for reading so much of my work, so appreciate your time . Will stop by soon!
Go well!

[Hatchling]

Very soulful piece. Keep up the great work

[MOON]

Thank you, take care!

[Hatchling]

You're welcome and you too

[Emerald Seas]

A soulful write, Moon. I can feel the sorrow and anguish in each well written line. Smoothly paced - it drew this reader into the feelings expressed. Whenever I read poems like this I wonder if people feeling this way have someone to lean on, a friend they can spill all the pent up frustrations so they're not knotted up. A powerful piece!

[danish]

Its touch my heart lost in the poem

[MOON]

Thanks , most appreciated will stop by soon!

[Prritiy]

A creation so full of pain. You have written it so nicely that it touches the strings of the heart.
best wishes

[Kaitlyn Raiford]

Your writing is just as lovely as ever, I must say. I still envy your ability. I wish I was as much a great writer and poet as you are. I can relate to the feeling quite well, and my heart grows heavy with the reminders that this brings. Very well done. I love it.