I Fell For You

It had all started with a walk and then she ran into him! This gorgeous guy is so breath taking! He is a God!

Since the first day we met
I couldn't help but fall for you.

I remember walking down
That long narrow street.

I had come to a corner
And there you appeared.

You were shirtless
And wearing ripped navy blue shorts.

You had big brown eyes
And such a beautiful smile.

Your body was leaning against
A tall yellow pole.

You stood there
Showing off your muscular body.

You gave me that crooked smile
I love so very much.

The sun was beating off your face
Making you look even more like a god!

I had to look away
For I couldn't breath!

My heart was beating
A million times a minute.

My thought were everywhere
And I couldn't think straight!

I just stood there
Looking into those big beautiful eyes.

I didn't move
Or even breath.

I tried to speak
But nothing came out.

You left me speechless
And gasping for air!

I knew as I stood there
That this was it.

I had finally found
What I longed for.

I remember that day so well
How could I forget!

It was that very day
That I fell in love with you!

 ~I love you!~

Author's Note

I was just sitting around talking to a few people, when I decided to write about this! Its similar to what is happening to me now! It has meaning but I dont know if it makes sense. I dont know about the flow or even the grammar! Please give me your opinions and or advice! Dont rate if not good please! Trying to raise my status! Thanks!

Reviews

[Chloe Christine]

I love this! In REAL poetry, flow and grammar mean nothing.
Words tell the story. and your words panit the perfect picture.
amaazing. (:

[Daydreamer54]

awww! another sweet poem. U have great description and emotion. This was very wonderful and i enjoyed reading this! :)

[NoAirToBreatheXSuffocat..]

Awwwwww! I just love your writing!

[LynLee]

it almost sounded as if you passed out.................

[Holly-Marie]

"Crooked smile." Those words bought the whole thing together for me =)
It made it just that bit more life like. The imagery was wonderful, I loved it.

[deeps]

This is very well written and so well put together.
I can feel the love in this write. This is amazing!

[MagiCrystal]

You can breath in love.. that is what I used to do.. but coming back to reality.
It was pain before pleasure.. Rick James song !
LOL

[*Kantola*]

Ahh, I see so much symbolism in this. Thank you, AP English teacher :) Color coordination of symbolism! hehe. She's crazy about colors :X
8th stanza, I have an issue with
"You gave me that crooked smile
I loved so very much."
^^^ I just have an issue with the word "loved." I came across this and thought, "oh no, it's in the past tense, so something bad's going to happen." That's the only thing I had a problem with.
GREAT JOB with this poem, itw as amazing :D

[Havatara]

I loved it! I just didn't really like the fourth stanza. It seemed out of place, the part about the ripped shorts at least. You could say, "You were shirtless and in shorts, your muscles making you look like a god" or something like that, and then the stanza, "The sun was beating off your face, Making you look even more like a god!" would make more sense, since you said "even more like" instead of just "like." But it was great and I enjoyed reading it.

[Soul Magic✯]

beautifully expressed from the heart and soul... i enjoyed reading this piece