Humanity Is At It's Finest.

When did single become a death sentence?

Who would've thought a heart could be so sharp?

Time was ticking,

and you were counting down.

Licking w****s.

Making your way around.

In the depths of desire,

emotions set on fire.

The world shifted.

Your heart changed.

Sanity danced,

on the brink of insane.

Darkness closed in.

By the light we were shunned.

What once was a game,

no longer was fun.

I held it.

But you fired the gun.

Beautiful blood poured from my head.

You didn't kiss me good night,

when you put me on my death bed.

"forever.."

You LIED.

This shadow of murder

is called suicide.

Reviews

[Devons]

This is like 'the last post' in the battle between monogamy and polygamy. It seems to me to show the transition from youth to maturity, naivete to experience..
"What once was a game,
no longer was fun.
I held it.
But you fired the gun."
..Subtle and forceful lines, which reflect the concept of playing and over-stepping the mark. To the point where it hurts. And then the difference is learned. But if the game is big enough, the realisation of its danger is a lesson which is learned too late, and can end fatally - metaphorical or otherwise.
There is a bitter brutality in the words and imagery of this poem that has a profound effect. And the conclusion is dramatic in this way..
""forever.."
You LIED.
This shadow of murder
is called suicide."
These last two lines are proverbial. We do it to ourselves...with the help of others..
Powerful piece of work.

[Lilly]

Dramatic and powerful writing
Nice work

[Jonathan De Elvira]

hohoho...
my favorite kind of poem...
I'm loving it...

[Charles]

A mirror can paint a cruel landscape.

[Marie Harrison]

What a surprising psychopathic twist to a murder. Makes you wonder how many times this happens.

[Kelley]

sadly we weep........or like you said sometimes it better to be alone.

[Jas Alejandrino Ramos]

good poem! it is dramatically inspiring:)

[RonnieBreight]

Wow. That picture is intense. "This shadow of murder is called suicide." This is so interesting. It makes me think of someone who is s****y but then decides they don't want to be like that anymore, but it's too late.
I love the imagery, you did a superb job.

[nono]

Cool pic violent though! Brains blown out! You did a nice job on this and it really had me thinking nice job!

[trainwreck]

Hmmmm.... Its got a lot of attack to it. But in some ways, its so accusing you lose the hurt, and then the hurt behind the anger hits you again. Its good. I like it. It seems like it took a lot of thought to get it perfect. I'm glad you took the time.