Reflection

I looked in the mirror

Just like any day

Expecting to see messy hair

Nothing unusual there

But as I gazed in the glass

The lighting low

I touched a face 

That I didn't know

Her eyes were large

And sunken and sad

Absent a shine

That she no longer had

Her face was gaunt

And pale like a ghost

A face without peace

A face without hope

The corners of her mouth

Tilted down with despair

As she hugged her own waist

Waiting for someone to care

I looked in the mirror today

But I don't know who stared back

Unless that really was me

And my stars faded to black

Author's Note

I just looked in the mirror and this is what I saw...I was a bit surprised...
God bless

Reviews

[Patrick Henry]

I don't picture this when I see you...... you examining and disarming in front of a mirror without reason. You're beautiful, so this is a strange place to be... not in your head to see what you saw that day!! Writing "Absent a shine"...LOVE IT!! I love lines like those that stick out and have and create a whole 'nother rhythm and pace to the poem. That second to the last stanza was shocking to me. I have read similar "views" in a suicide "letter" of a friend written like that, heard a few talk this way when they were in fits with their mind over Anorexia, and none of it is easy to comprehend or easy to help them adjust to better moods or better scenes. That last line is a tough one to hear, but I think that's because I'm biased when it comes to you!! I like you a lot, so reading that wasn't making me feel all that "spectacular". : ) ....to say the least. What a beautiful poem. I tried my hand at a poem like this and it didn't manage well, in my opinion. I won't "advertise" it here, but if you would like to know.... just ask me the name of it. Great job bringing in the reader for a very personal, lonely, and dire view of this time spent in front of the mirror where you are left to want to "save"... but ever-so-curious as to how strong you come out of it. xoxo -Mark

[Lost in Wonderland]

Thanks mark, I hope this makes me stronger cause right now it's worse haha..

[Patrick Henry]

How can you write "haha" after writing what you just wrote?!! Auuggh!! I want to squeeze you. Not too hard that I would have to explain it to your priest or older siblings, but hard enough to entertain me and lift your moods!! Read some of my "heart" poems and play some music. Hum your favorite music..... *Hugzz* I'm off to go eat right now. Why can't you just live across the street for just an hour or so? xox I wonder who ELSE would like that. I could fill a whole neighborhood of my army of Hug-a-Muffins. Hmmm. Get in line! lol We LOVE you, Mickey!! xoxox -Your Mark

[Lost in Wonderland]

Thanks:)

[Patrick Henry]

If you weren't up in the clouds, like your profile lets on about, I'd call you if you needed me!! I am NEVER at a loss for words. lol I'm told, by some, that I leave lengthy comments... so I've got practice. : ) *Hugzz* Just hold it for a while, O.K.? xoxo -Your Mark

[Lost in Wonderland]

Ok I'll try

[Dan Kim]

Really kept me hooked until the very last stanza that really took me.

Very captivating piece with an excellent last line.

[Lost in Wonderland]

Thank you(:
God bless

[InsanityWriter]

Wow. That was a beautifully written poem. :) The last stanza was my favorite. ^_^

[Lost in Wonderland]

Aw thank you dear:)
God bless

[DoNt LoSe YoUrSeLf]

As I read this, it reminded me of a long-term addict. Perhaps to meth or heroin. How after some time, they can have an affect on your appearance and make you forget who you used to look like. It's tough to lose yourself in the face of the mirror, especially when you're consumed by something else...and how that something can someday fully consume you and change you externally into a person you don't recognize.

[Butch Decatoria]

I have been there. Looking at someone I did not know, but always knew... everyday is discovery, finding yourself. Love this good stuff.

[Lost in Wonderland]

Thank you, God bless

[Clockwork]

I have to say I have had moments like this. Mirrors are interesting things; they let our perceptions come to the surface or play tricks on us. I like the way you tell your story and the images you use. You speak right to your readers and invite us in.

The one thing I would suggest is removing the final two lines of the poem. I think you build a nice narrative to that point. You invite your readers to wonder about what the speaker show in the mirror. That allows them to input their creative process to the writing. I think those last two lines take away from that device a little bit.

I must say that I do like this piece and where you went with it. I was glad to see this poem up the other day after I went to that Christmas party.

[Lost in Wonderland]

Thanks:) that's an interesting suggestion. I may take it:) and I hope the party was fun!

[Invisible]

i like what you're trying to do, but the flow of it feels a bit off. i'm not trying to sound rude or nothin', i'm just saying for me perhaps seeing if it could be written slightly differently.

[Kupendwa]

Very well written. Reminds me of someone I know all too well. You'll get that shine back soon enough. Just keep holding on.

[Lost in Wonderland]

Thank you very much
God bless

[Phillitup]

Sad and beautiful but captures the essence of surprise and despair.

[Lost in Wonderland]

thank you
God bless