The Lesser Idiot

What happens when two great minds collide.

The Lesser Idiot

"I don't understand the Star Spangled Banner,"  Kyle commented.

 He sat at the corner desk computer. 

His assignment for the day was to work on an American History project due in two days.

 "It makes no sense.

 It states that bombs were bursting in air, but bombs weren't used in war until the 1800's. I don't get it.

 Sir Francis Scott Keys must have been on drugs or something."

 I looked at the boy wondered what in heaven's name he was talking about.

 A girl from across the room shouted, 

"You dummy, they had bombs.

 Don't you remember Pearl Harbor and the atomic thingie in Japan?"

 "Oh yeah," replied Kyle. 

"I suppose you would be right if the Revolutionary War was fought in 1941, you doofus brain."

 "Are you calling me an idiot?" answered the girl.

 “If the definition of doofus brain is idiot, then yeah,” Kyle remarked.

 “You’re an idiot.” She called back.

 I looked at both of them in disbelief.

I motioned to them to stop their verbal confrontation, but it did little good.

 “Actually, Kyle,” I said, “I believe these bombs were more like giant bottle rockets used as luminaries to light up the night sky so the British could see what they were firing at, and also to see if the flag still waved over the fort.

 “Oh,” replied Kyle, “I suppose hat makes sense.”

 “Ha, ha, Kyle, whose the idiot now?” laughed Ashley.

 “Oh shut up you brain dead zombie.” Kyle grumbled.

 “Apologize to each other.” I demanded.

 “Why Mr. Burgess,” asked Kyle.

 “Because you’re both idiots.” I said.

 “Yeah, well, that may be so, but she’s a bigger idiot than me.”

 “It doesn’t matter,” I said, “the fact is; you’re both idiots.”

 After hearing this,  Ashley’s ears perked up.

“Hey, what do you mean by that Mr. Burgess? Do you think I’m an idiot?”

 “No,” I replied, “that’s what Kyle said, I’m only confirming his observation.”

Kyle commented curiously, 

“What Mr. Burgess? What do you mean by confirming?”

 I answered by saying,

 “Well, didn’t you say Ashley is a BIGGER idiot than you?”

 “Yes sir I did and I meant it too.” Kyle replied.

 “Well then Kyle, that means both of you are idiots, except you’re a lesser idiot.”

 Kyle looked up a bit confused.

 “Yes sir, that’s what I said alright, I am the lesser idiot…uh, oops. I see what you mean Mr. Burgess, I am an idiot.”

 “Yes Kyle,” I smiled, “you are.”

The End

Author's Note

An almost true adventure from this past week.

Reviews

[angel]

A funny thing; I questioned the bombs, but hadn't had a chance to look it up, yet. Thanks for saving me the trouble!'
That being said, this reminds me of many, many arguments between my own daughter and son. (her name is Elisabeth, and her brother used to call her 'Lizardbreath...you get the picture).
That made me enjoy it even more!
Nice writing, M.E.

[Kathy Van Kurin]

'The Lesser Idiot'
M.E. Lyle,
What a delightful window into a day of seeing how kids interact, respond and what they might talk about. I sure got a kick out of this story of yours! I suppose this story was even more fun and interesting than you could portray with words. A classroom setting is such a great place to end up seeing and hearing so much fun and sometimes perplexing things coming up with students. Well it sounds like the two young people were given a lot of food for thought...history, our country and of course what the 'lesser idiot is about. So fun!!
Thanks for a great write.
Blessings,
Kathy

[Marie]

You know, I wasn't sure about the "bombs" thing myself. Very illuminating(no pun intended).

[Sara Raztresen]

It's very cute, I enjoyed it, however sometimes the tense would switch to past. Stories are meant to be in one tense alone, unless describing a future event or something.