Ode to Sea Sprite On The Estuary

From a hotel rental off a small patio, I watch
the half-turn of day float the Pacific like a buoy
set ablaze. She fights the waters like a fisherman's boat
to stay afloat before the weight of evening,
too heavy on her head, drowns her round belly.
Alas, the night collapses and strews his bulbs
in her sky, shine like a billion sperm in the Milky-Way.
A brilliant cycle, much like how the moon
pulls the tide and penetrates the shore, sinks her
below waves, coral reef, and sea floor before
she splits through Earth's core, pushing her infant
head against the cervix moon. She crowns
the canals of Stockholm, Panama, Amsterdam,
Venice, and is born an Eastern morning.

Reviews

[Sami Khalil]

Nice poem indeed...

[symmetryAsymmetry]

This was a compelling piece of poetry!
This commands awe! Great take on things so umm "daily"!

[Kaa Na Kalyanasundaram]

A brilliant cycle,
much like how the moon pulls the tide
and penetrates the shore
............good lines. with regards.

[Eagle Cruagh]

The fact that you watched a "sea sprite"
on the Estuary , from your hotel was all
I needed. It sounded like a tiny boat that
plies the Estuary between Alameda and Oakland.
The place where I have always kept my boat,
ready to sail the Pacific at the drop of a verb.

The poem was not exactly what I expected, it
was much more.
Beautiful , wonderful writing.
----- Eagle Cruagh

[Crow]

I was captivated by your use of symbolism and imagery, you truly seemed to capture with words what cannot be merely held at any given point in time about the natural world and its life.

Well written!

[GTVile]

This was excellent. It was drenched in metaphor and other types of descriptive language, all of them used well. The constant reference to the reproductive cycle was appropriate because it's set in motion just like the phases of the moon. Even etymologically speaking it's the same; ie. moon/menses. Anyhoo, you captured the spirit of the closing day flawlessly, and personified it as the sea sprite through a very captivating means. Bravo.

[serpent]

hypnotic!

[DavidRyanM]

Honestly, this one isn't for me. I'm not saying it's bad, because it's not. Actually, technically speaking, it might be one of the more beautiful pieces you've written. The first line is strong and packs a punch in such a subtle way but it captures the reader right away. I might have read this wrong but it seems like a strong feminist piece. And I mean nothing bad by that. Like I said, if I'm reading it right, I know what you're going for and you definitely accomplish it. I guess I just can't relate. So I was just going to say I couldn't identify, as a male, with any part of it and now I've written more than I have on my own pieces :)