White

White

A Poem by Moflo
"

Ode to Writer's Block

"
Somewhere out my window
Distant mountains symbolize
A feeling that I wish I had
Because contention with my life,
As odd as this may sound,
Only seems to come out white.

I'm not fishing for lonesomeness
As all of my intentions swarm
A manifest of perfection
Breaking from the social norm
I'm accustomed to with pen in hand
But since you're back, I've lost my form!

I guess I find it hard to understand
How I could make such a living out of
Feeling depressed, destroyed, deranged, deprived,
Searching for this long lost love,
When happiness seems to quench the fire,
A feeling that puts me above.

And so my body stares with threat
At a blank computer page,
Waiting for words to leave my head,
Waiting for players on the stage
To comply a show with words,
That I've strategically arranged.

But real life comes like sharpened swords,
Pouring to my blanking sight!
The laptop closes, days are longer
But inspiration fails to write,
And I can't seem to apprehend
The words that gather in my mind.

So because of you I can't amend
The words to thank you for the days
That we spent together as
They only seem to write cliches!
I'm not saying I'm not happy,
I just can't find the words to say.

-I'm saying that your presence is a joy
An inspiration to my life.
You fill my head with beautiful words
That form immaculate structures, pictures,
But when the words travel to my fingertips,
They seem to come out invisible.

© 2011 Moflo


Author's Note

Moflo
Really its the last paragraph I'm not certain is necessary.

My Review

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Featured Review

I love this! "So because of you I can't amend
The words to thank you for the days
That we spent together as
They only seem to write cliches!"
That was perhaps the best, I think! I think a last stanza is needed as the one before it seems to end on a cliffhanger. It doesn't, technically, but I got the feeling that it did. Perhaps mess around with it a bit to figure out a better way to put it? However! The last two lines of the final stanza are perfect! Don't change those!

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I kind of like the final paragraph. It wraps it up and changes the tone to a tender appology, acknowledging it's not their fault it's just the way your creativity works. You explained the irritating cruel feeling of writer's block and just how damned stupid it can be! Nice job

Posted 13 Years Ago


I really like the title with this message. Isn't it odd when not being able to write perhaps want you want to write is inspiration for a verse:) I think you did a beautiful job explaining how the words can't make the trip from head to fingers/pen to paper. I thought this line was priceless in this piece "But since you're back, I've lost my form!".

To the Authors Note: The last verse had relevance to the message. But I like ending on the note "I just can't find the words to say."

Wonderful write!

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

the last paragraph goes but maybe leave out, -I'm saying that your- And just have
- Your presence is a joy
an inspiration to my life...
But it is a very creative piece and imaginative! well done!

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on January 11, 2011
Last Updated on January 11, 2011

Author

Moflo
Moflo

NY



About
I am a 26 year old recent college grad trying to establish myself. Recently moved back to NY from Pennsylvania and looking for work. Now working on becoming an English teacher. more..

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