Music From Another Room

I wrote this piece about a year and a half ago, and I keep finding myself revisiting it.

When I was young I never knew
The kind of s**t you get put through
Just to make yourself a well-liked man:

The places you don't care to list,
The people that you come to miss,
The boundaries that you'll never cross again.

When something comes across the floor
Inviting you to offer more;
Its love again, she's digging in your fate-

Knowing that your time is soon,
When music from another room
Comes playing through the radiator grate.

Author's Note

The picture is a drawing I found in my old notebook I used for class. Yes, I am an awful artist, but if its not clear, its a stick figure man on a sailboat with a girl who has a pile of books beside her. The man is looking back at a nearby Island where another girl looks back at him.

If the picture isn't coming up here is a link to it:

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/385790_809528466665_36410729_37804614_875085698_n.jpg

Reviews

[Nobody.]

what an interesting little rhyme. Somewhere between Shel Silverstein and John Donne, you've found a hybrid moment to convey; and man does it tear at the substance of the soul.

Like running fingers over old scars,
and remembering why you never want that to happen again,
and then a beautiful distraction
wafts into the room,
and everything goes back into the box.

Great stuff dude.

Cheers!

[emmajoy]

Your poem's more of an adventure than a step in a direction, and, in the process, you infer the lessons learned, some of which you promptly forgot .. never a bad idea! Whatever you write about, you always adhere to certainl technical guidelines .. here you have the traditional with a touch of what could be lyrics rat-a-tatting all over the place.

As to the picture, it's grrrreat .. took me a while to get there, but it certainly points the way to greater insight of your words.

[Amanda Lee/ Isolated Dr..]

Great rhyme as well ; I really like the way it moves

[Amanda Lee/ Isolated Dr..]

Wow this for me was amazing; dealing with a relateable situation i was so personally moved by this

[John Jackson (El Juero)]

Man, this has so many layers, some delicious, some bittersweet. My interpretation was greener grass next door.
Very evocative work
Love this...favorited.

[ChaoticSoul]

Alright, the picture made me giggle (trust me it's a lot better than I could do!) but I really enjoyed reading this. I loved the rhyme scheme you use; it's different and adds a kind of contemporary-like feel to the poem. I also loved the reference to hearing "music from another room." Music is so relate-able and so is this poem. Lovely job!

[Stammers]

AMAZING picture. There's something just epic about that - yes its awful - but its really quirky and such an interesting scene. I love how perfectly stick like they are, you're going to draw crap but you're going to do it by the book.

The title line is fantastic, its all very Eliot. And you know I sleep with an Eliot poem every night. This is a favourite.

[Emily Rae]

I love that the music is coming through the radiator grate--seduction leaking through this unbeknownst vehicle...

[Dreamer<3]

I really like your rhyme scheme! And the whole of it in general, too. This is really good and has a good meaning behind it too.

[SkinlessFrank]

a true sentiment that catches the moment...yeah, don't hesitate, make haste

[Mary Fioratti]

Mike: Life is this way... we just figured out things later...and so many things that we lost in life.. So many things we miss...that pass in front of our eyes. So many feelings, and so many situations that we could have learned something... Your poem is very deep thinking that we go wayyyyy to fast in life!
*Mary*