When The Night Falls

When The Night Falls

A Poem by RED
"

Trying to describe my days with that person whom used to be special for me.

"
‪#When_The_Night_Falls.
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When the night falls, I start noticing my flaws.
The beast, inside me, crawls.
Clutched by its claws.
You knock on the shadows' doors. 
Then you realize, they are all just abandoned floors. 
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When the night falls, I recall our falls.
We used to talk till the dawns.
You left me up of my downs.
I hid behind my frowns. 
Will you come to my floors?! 
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When the night falls, the grief hauls. 
It hauls me to the nowhere.
But, I should beware. 
Because there will not be any shores. 
Will I survive the grief's frauds?! 
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When the night falls, the world cruels.
Honesty gets veiled.
It was nothing of what I needed.
Because fear rules, but it cannot be ruled.
To my principles, I am glued.
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All what I wanted to say is: "GO AWAY"!!

© 2015 RED


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Reviews

Hello,
I saw you reviewed many of my writings so I will try to return the favour, haven't been on here since very long but here it goes!
This kinda reminds me when I first starting to write. I can see the clear AAAAA Structures you used here, my advice would be not to be afraid to go out of it! Use an ABAB or even a ABCABC structure for your rhymes.

Now with he technical out of the way, i really love the message and the feelings in this one, I especially loved this part:
"When the night falls, the grief hauls.
It hauls me to the nowhere.
But, I should beware.
Because there will not be any shores.
Will I survive the grief's frauds?!"

Keep it up and I will try to review more of your work.
PS: I am doing fine, I use writing to express my self so it wont consume me!


Posted 8 Years Ago


Hi, you described your emotions very well in this. A very good write. This is my first time reading your writing and will definitely check all of them.

Posted 8 Years Ago


RED

8 Years Ago

Hi, thanks for the review. Your opinion does matter to me.

Thanks for dedicating som.. read more
Another great one. I really enjoy your poetry it flows superb!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

RED

8 Years Ago

Thanks, buddy.

Your review actually pleased me. ^_^
Adam W Redmon

8 Years Ago

I'll read more of your poems I promise. im working on a novel now. Well trying to start. procrastina.. read more
RED

8 Years Ago

Hahah.

And, I hope you a pleasant journey in the writing field.

Belie.. read more

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162 Views
3 Reviews
Rating
Added on April 2, 2015
Last Updated on April 2, 2015

Author

RED
RED

Amman, Abu Nsair, Jordan



About
I am a young passionate writer who seeks to spread and share his own writing world-widely. more..

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