More like Her

More like Her

 

 

 

I was freckled

from too many summers on the California coast.

I loved you then

when you belonged to someone else,

when I was full of poetry that voiced itself

in angst and melodic offerings

of Janis Ian songs.

 

How I wished it were me

who had your name,

whose rounded shoulders were as traversed

as the pages of an atlas

within your hands…

 

perhaps if I

had been more like her.

Reviews

[Crowley]

Wow, to be the one this is written about would be heady and fantastic. You know I am a hopeless romantic forever and for always. I love the way love and lust and the slippery slope of the flirt. What an amazing piece, and to just miss it....ahhh nuts. Loved this alot girl!!!!

[Kelly Scheppers]

You make me smile from ear to ear, you know that? How wonderful you've made my day! Thank you, my friend! x

[Crowley]

The description was manifest as well as the comparison. I like the way you laid it out.

[Crowley]

Just landed at jfk from Iceland. 5 hour layover then 5 more hours to home. Soooooo tired already.

[Kelly Scheppers]

That you took the time to review me simply blows me away! ...but that's you! ; )

[Crowley]

the description was manifest???? I just read that again and I'm guessing it was supposed to be magnificent. Just read again and it is still as magical.

[Kelly Scheppers]

It's quite the gem to me!

[Coyote Poetry]

A wonderful poem shared dear Kelly. The things we didn't do, break our heart. Thank you for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[Kelly Scheppers]

Thank you, John. Many blessings for your presence here!

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome dear Kelly.

[Chris Shaw]

Dear Kelly, I am wondering why anyone as lovely and talented as you would wish to give up her identity and become more like some other woman, for the sake of love? I am thinking these words have been written by someone who at that time was not aware of her own unique and special value. Poignant writing, I hope not focusing on regret.

Chris

[Kelly Scheppers]

It's ever kind of you to say, Chris, and I deeply thank you for that. I don't know, I think sometimes when we fall in love, we lose a part of ourselves. I no longer wish to be like her anymore, but it certainly made for a pretty good muse for a poem!

[Chris Shaw]

It certainly makes for good poetry Kelly, but I am so pleased that you are no longer in that place, lovely lady :)

[Kelly Scheppers]

...thank you!

[Pete]

my main man, mr. Thoreau, would say, "Never look back unless you are planning to go that way." but this little trip of regret that you take us on sure waxes deep and poetic. there is a sensual lilt to your words and imagery that transcends and lifts above the ordinary to another dimension of passion. to say that this is heartfelt would be putting it mildly. quiet, soft, subtle, memorable intensity ... :)

[Kelly Scheppers]

Thank you, Pete. Your every word carries much weight for me and it always will!

[barleygirl]

I take you to be a person who would not actually pine your life away like this, but I get worried about the young ones that actually do & write about it this way. You paint a vivid word picture of how it can be to not trust your own beauty & value. The "atlas" stanza is brilliant & palpable (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Kelly Scheppers]

Actually, I built the poem around that "atlas" stanza. It always summons a sensation in me whenever I read it out loud. Thanks for acknowledging it, Margie! (((HUGS)))

[Einstein Noodle]

ohhhhh such sweet sorrow Legs ... so well constructed in scene, theme and mood .. not a thing to change as always ... words worked as a surgeon ... precise and in full bloom

[Kelly Scheppers]

You are far too kind, and I am ever thankful to have you here!

[Lorry]

But Kelly, if you were more like her, who would be you?
I think we have all felt this to some degree in our lives, whether it is us wishing to change or others wanting us to. I think they are both excellent ways of stripping us of our confidence, leaving only self doubt.
Hopefully after time, the feeling subsides...or so we tell ourselves.
Sometimes it feels like we should change our name to second best, but would we really exist if we fit ourselves into someone elses shoes? Oh, I didnt realise answering that would be so difficult. I was going for wisdom and hit on a questipn that hirt my head.
Beautiful and creative words I shall think about.

Yours

S. Best :)

[Kelly Scheppers]

When you fall in love with someone and they choose someone else, it's a mighty blow to the psyche. We both got on with our lives though, but I still "go there" from time to time. Thanks so much, Lorry!

[Lorry]

Very true. I have known that once or twice myself (yeah, even me. Shocker) and we try to tell ourselves it doesn't matter, they're not worthy etc etc. But their echoes never quite fade.

[R.E. Ray]

A classic case of lost love, but presented originally with that photo. You can almost hear those words streaming though her mind, unseen waves in that atlas, regret, sadness and perhaps a grain of bitterness.

[Kelly Scheppers]

I could write a book on lost loves...actually, I think I have. Regret can swallow us up, but I prefer to make it into something cathartic, like writing about it, hoping that people like you will come along and make it alright again. Thank you, Robert. What a pleasure it is having you back!

[Patricia Wedel]

dear Kelly... your poetry reads like “back to the future”. as we remember the one who stole our virtue if only in our mind. We do cherish those memories and know that they graced our life with the knowledge that feelings are telepathic and nature will find a time and place to find that special someone. truly, Pat

[Kelly Scheppers]

We have both moved on, but the memory stirs sometimes as memories do. Thank you, dear friend!

[Patricia Wedel]

You are welcome Kelly. Sometimes we must share those we love... if only for a small portion of eternity. I am blessed to understand the depth of love to the extent that nature will allow. truly, Pat

[Ana Papaya]

yeah, that has to be one of the hardest felt things of the heart.
if I were to assume this poem is not fiction then I would have to say...

you are wonderful as you, and you are wonderful

[Kelly Scheppers]

It was from a time long ago...and it certainly made for quite the inspiration for a poem. You are such a compassionate soul, Ana. Thank you!

[Ana Papaya]

: ) always welcome