You

You

A Poem by MusicLove93
"

Found this on my computer. I write some depressing stuff..

"

You were the light in a darkened room

You were the sun on a gloomy day.

You were the earth on a fine, fine day.

You were my life, in every possible way.

 

You saw me at my worst,

And I've seen you at your best.

I guess I just wasn't good enough.

I guess I just didn't pass the test.

 

There was a time when I all I wanted was to call you mine.

There was a moment when I thought our love would last the test of time

There was a time when all I needed was the sound of your voice.

Then there was the moment that you made your choice.

 

With a single phrase, my heart stopped.

In a single second, my world was hushed.

It was our love you dropped;

And my heart that you crushed.

 

© 2012 MusicLove93


Author's Note

MusicLove93
I'm sorry I'm so depressing..tell me what you think though!

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Featured Review

Ah depressing writes... I tend to enjoy them. They really bring out emotions in people. First off from the title, simple and nice. The first stanza, I love it, the imagery is so nice in it. The second stanza, here comes the more depressing words, I love how you described people. I like the feeling in the third stanza, bringing in the emotions and perhaps the cause of the depressing words. The feeling for another person. Possible correction: "There was a time when I all I wanted was to call you mine." Change it to: when all I wanted. It looks like you have a extra "I" used there. Nice ending emotions... good write. I really like the emotion brought into this write.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

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Me
What a beautiful piece you have written here. I truly enjoyed reading it, and the imagery is fantastic.

Posted 5 Years Ago


Love always put lovers in a situation or a word where they write such sorta beautiful miserable n marvelous stuffs.

Posted 5 Years Ago


A tale of lost love in rhyme and poetic flow. There may be many "lost love" poems, but this one is unique to you. It tells the heart's story well, but it's not maudlin. A very nice write!

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

A depressing tone, but a great poem! I wrote a poem similar to this, but yours is quite better!

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ah depressing writes... I tend to enjoy them. They really bring out emotions in people. First off from the title, simple and nice. The first stanza, I love it, the imagery is so nice in it. The second stanza, here comes the more depressing words, I love how you described people. I like the feeling in the third stanza, bringing in the emotions and perhaps the cause of the depressing words. The feeling for another person. Possible correction: "There was a time when I all I wanted was to call you mine." Change it to: when all I wanted. It looks like you have a extra "I" used there. Nice ending emotions... good write. I really like the emotion brought into this write.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sad but Beautiful it touchs my heart and it's nice good luck girl!

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

That was so nice ,, yet sad ..
well done :)

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Your words speak of a love that was only lost when it became a matter of possession. That I believe happens each time we do that. Create some space beyond your grasp and you'll see that its still yours.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

A very good poem. Love lead us to happiness and sadness. Good description described a emotional ride. A sad ending to a excellent poem.
Coyote

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on October 7, 2012
Last Updated on October 7, 2012

Author

MusicLove93
MusicLove93

Jefferson, OR



About
I've never really shared my writing with many people, never thought I was really any good I guess. But, I love writing and have been writing for forever. That and music and art are my passions. You wo.. more..

Writing

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