What IS It Like To Be So Happy?

What is it like to be so sad? To feel so alone? To want to go? Learn the struggles of victims of depression as we follow one girl on her journey to recovery. Does she make it to the end?

Tick...tock...tick...tock...tick...tock.. went the melodic stainless steel clock placed centre on the cool, grey, unwelcoming wall.

"What is it like to feel happy?" I whispered staring opposite me at the clock.

"I'm sorry...?" the psychiatrist asked with a concerned look in her friendly brown eyes.

"What is it like to feel happy? "

"I....I....I don't understand what you mean. It's ni-"

"Is it easier?" I interrupted looking down at her quickly. "Are you able to be alone with your thoughts without them overwhelming you to a point of being afraid of yourself?

Do you see the world through a positive view?

Is there hope in your life?

Do you feel purpose?"

"I don't really know how to explain it to you.." she whispered.

"I bet it's lovely." I continued, staring in her direction but not actually focusing, too wrapped up in my thoughts. "To be able to look at life as something good, something worth living, not just an endless torture. To be able to smile, a genuine smile, with genuine emotion, not just a fake smile used to cover up the emptiness within."

I laughed quietly to myself shaking my head slightly, "Who am I kidding? I don't deserve happiness, I never will."

My psychiatrist stayed quiet, studying me carefully from over her glasses. "I think you need to speak to someone more equipped...someone a bit more understanding."

I smirked at her and smiled, "Okay, I understand." Getting up to leave I turned to Dr.Lee and smiled timidly, "thank you for listening.."

"It's my pleasure, sorry I couldn't be of better help. Stay strong Jade."

I closed the door softly behind me as I entered the hell hole that is my world.

Reviews

[Tierra Starr]

This is amazing. Though I have never been to a psychiatrist for depression, i can relate. I always hid my depression too good for anyone to even attempt to help me. I went to a therapist when I was in high school though for me and my dad's relationship issues. Even she wasn't able to see my sadness. I remember hating going there because it was always so boring. The walls were plain and the therapist talked to me as if we were in an interview for life. I didn't want to trust someone who got paid by the hour to talk to me. I was so mad that she was taking my dad's money when there was nothing to be fixed. Reality is incredibly unwelcoming...especially when you feel like you are the only one suffering.

[Rachelle]

Thank you ever so much for sharing this with me. I myself personally have never set foot in a therapist's office in my life(Although often argued I should have :P) So I got the point of view from a single scene at the opening of an episode of Sherlock and tried to work from there. I am so happy for your confirmation that my shot in the dark was able to portray it realistically. Isolation is the hardest strike of them all, but no one is ever alone in their suffering. Thank you so much for the feedback and I am delighted you were able to relate to my story so far.

[Tierra Starr]

Well, considering you have never set foot in a therapist's office, you did an amazing job of explaining one :) I don't know if they would necessarily send you away if they couldn't talk to you that quickly, but you did an amazing job :) i hope this story continues!

[Rachelle]

Thank you very much!:) Yeah they can't you'll find out in a couple of chapters but basically the first therapist wasn't an appropriate therapist:) So do I Haha, thank you very much:)

[Sami Khalil]

Is there hope in your life?

Do you feel purpose?"
I like those questions...:)

[relinashinee]

I like it... I like the way you portray the main girl and then the other girl more vilnerable than her and how she would like to help her, yet, she herself is not fixed. I really like this story, hope you will finish it :)

[Rachelle]

Story of a broken persons life, even depression can't kill compassion. I'm very glad you like it! Will do:)

[char]

This is awesome. I've been interested in psychology for some time (won't want it as a career though) and this is fascinating. Please continue! :)

[Rachelle]

It is very interesting, I hope to pursue it as a career. Awh I am so glad you enjoy it! I will for sure:)

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Vibrant Story, keep writing.

[Rachelle]

Thank you very much! I will continue soon:)