Down the Rabbit Hole

I feel like my head is in a constant state of spinning

Everything around me is slightly blurred and whirling
Just send me down the rabbit hole spiraling
The heat rises as the pressure builds and keeps turning
my head
spinning and spinning
whirling, spiraling, and turning

I feel like all the time in this world is bent and melting
Everything around me is slightly breaking
Just send me to the padding with my seams unraveling
And my sense of reality twisting
my head
spinning and spinning
melting, breaking, and twisting

I feel like the many paths ahead of me are turning
Everything I thought I knew is blurring
Just sends me down to darkness to stop the fading
Here on my shoulders the weight of the world is reeling
my head
spinning and spinning
blurring, fading, and reeling

I feel like pills are the only way to cure the spinning
Everything would simply stop whirling
Just send me the bottle to halt the spiraling
And then hand me the water to drown the turning

Author's Note

I have returned from my nearly 2 year hiding. Hopefully I can get some readers back?

Reviews

[i.am.the.sun.]

i was impressed by the first two lines, and blown away by the rest. the canter of this is just awesome, you can't help but read it with a kind of rhythm behind it. "i feel like all the time in this world is bent a melting" - sweeeeeet haha.
i would suggest cutting out "spiraling" from the first stanza though, it has too many syllables and sort of makes you trip of yourself while reading. and with "revolving", since you already reused "spinning" why not recycle "turning" as well? i had the same sort of stutter with that word too. whatever you decide, this is a wicked piece.

[Leetbox]

you can tell the two year hiatus conjured up some sort of creative spark that came out with a fiery passion. the words do justice to the meaning. it would definitely make a good song piece too.

i love it.

[Mikayla Rasmussen]

thats really good. that would actually make a good song!!!!!!!!!!! i love it!!!!!! it reminds me of alice in wonder land

[Tony]

I like the form you create here. Made me feel like there was alot of pressure or weight on "my head". You know like the way the words "my head" are situated in the poem. It physically looks like alot of weight and pressure forcing downward. That's pretty cool. Nice work here anyway you look at it.

Makosica

[Crow]

I can feel the frenzy, great verbal imagery.

I truly liked this piece.

[Greg Skura]

Great spinning motion expressed here i almost got sea sick and I am one who loves a good spin!! lol cheers!

[Wolfwind Words]

I loved the dizzying factor here! This piece reminds me of days when no matter where I go or what I do...the heat of the sun seems to bake my brains into mush. I kinda imagine from this piece that we are all tops having been spun into motion for some reason we can't ever figure out. We are able to move left and right, forward and back. Yet, time and time again. The spinning motion just never ends.

Great Poem!
Wolfie