What Makes Us Broken

What Makes Us Broken

 

We are only broken my love when

   they look at us hard ..

The rest of the time, we are whole ..

But then nevertheless,

it still pays to be careful, quiet and

above all composed

and free from all forms of restraint

   don’t you think ..

Remember my love, we are broken

only when they all

   

look at us hard, so pray listen harder ..

Since the following sigh

  

and the gasp, are for your ears only ..

 

 

Author's Note

any ideas, all answers on a postcard .. thank you

Reviews

[Anushka joshi]

There is a very famous line from one of my favourite songs, I'll translate it to English
Complete things have an end, they have endings, only the incomplete ones are left alive.
This poem reminded me of that.
Song is 'Tere Naina' from the movie 'My name is khan' for context.

[Neville]

Dear Anushka,
thank you for taking time to consider my little scribble and for the very kind share which I like very much .. Neville

[Anushka joshi]

:) Your welcome
Aj

[JD Major]

Thanks Neville, touching lines, ringing true.
JD

[Neville]

Thank you so much JD .. Many thanks indeed. Neville

[Thomas W Case]

Tremendous. You nailed this one.

[Neville]

Cor blimey guv Cheers :)

[Ana Papaya]

Those who love us look past our flaws, knowing they're there but focusing on the whole. And those who are unhappy with themselves or jealous of us, or any number of other unhealthy reasons, will see our cracks glaringly as faults. I like the message here, of accepting yourself regardless of how others perceive you. Postcard is in the mail...

[Neville]

Glad you could see it my way Ana, that always makes such a difference .. Neville

[Ana Papaya]

It's always a pleasure my friend

[Neville]

................................... 😎👍

[Chris Shaw]

Beautiful romantic poetry Neville. There will always be those who look for flaws and point the finger. They are insignificant in the overall picture. The whole of what is strong, can’t be broken. True love remains unshaken. A lovely piece.

I didn’t send a postcard, the post has been unreliabke recently.

Chris

[Neville]

thank you so much for the unconditional thumbs up Chris ..
Neville

[willweb]

No matter who sees us, if they look long and hard enough, they can find the flaws, the smudges, the scars, the little cracks that aren't really a problem to the foundation of who or what we are but, it seems, unsightly to some. The ending portion of your piece is how it should be. Let them look, but listen to ourselves, for in our eyes, we are beautiful. Ok, you asked, now I will await my postcard. : )

[Neville]

thanks for stopping by will .. you should get it before :)