Musings

I'm just playing with words. This is my first work. I haven't written in a loooonnnngggg time !

 

Sitting down wondering about the day past

I grab a pencil

wishing I could capture all my thoughts

rushing and whizzing by

fast as water that's out to sea

sharp as rocks piercing thru white foam

deadly as lava erupting from within

soft as rose petals whispering their secrets

teasing as dewdrops that disappear

with the sun rising

powerful as lighting striking

the already battered earth

noisy as birds twittering

silent as dark forest shadows

 

These are my musings

uncontrollable

unnoticeable

trapped inside my head

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

I guess be honest ; tips are welcome; i can't write but i thought i would try anyways. I corrected spelling errors. I forgot to use spell check early this morning.

Reviews

[Gracie-San]

This is exactly how I feel when I sit down and write, but I don't think I could express it in such a beautiful and simplistic form that you could.

I also love your use of descriptions in this poem. I feel as if it adds to the emotions most writers feel when they sit down and begin to write their muse.

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

I thought this was good. I liked the descriptive words you used. You say you can't write, but I think you can. You have a potential for it. Keep it up. Like I said before I thought it was good. Thanks for sharing. :)

[Chris Lotus]

I chuckled a bit at the "birds twittering" part (reminiscent of Twitter which also came to mind). I think this kinda sums up the mindset of what a poet wants to do with words in relation to their surroundings. Thats just my take. You played with words quite well here, personally some made me chuckle which is pretty good in itself. Excellent write!

[Crowley]

and yet none of them escaped this poem. Really nice write, the flow, the pace, the rhythm all superb, I really liked it.

[R.S. Wilder]

You can't write??? Well, don't underestimate yourself. This was wonderful - you've managed to capture what it feels like to have dozens of thoughts lodged inside with no way of getting out.
Beautiful and descriptive - and it flowed nicely. Well done, and looking forward for another read.

[aftervision]

Sitting down wondering about the day past

I grab a pencil

wishing I could capture all my thoughts

rushing and whizzing by

fast as water that's out to sea


--- my very thoughts on today

[Allison]

this is really good!

[JENY]

its good…
your intellect can have…interesting musings…
this is the first one…..go ahead…

[MattVoscinar]

The one tip I have for you is to avoid cliches. Do not be afraid of trying something new just because you "can't write" (which is rubbish by the way) Examples:

Fast as water out to see
Sharp as rocks
Powerful as lightning strikes

[Taylor H.]

I think its good the way it is :)

[PaperHearts]

Wow! That was so gorgeous! Your choice of vocabulary was so ornate, and so detailed, and I felt like I was in the moment that you described. Nature is an amazing thing, and this piece reminded me of that. Great write,
~PaperHearts