Musings

I'm just playing with words. This is my first work. I haven't written in a loooonnnngggg time !

 

Sitting down wondering about the day past

I grab a pencil

wishing I could capture all my thoughts

rushing and whizzing by

fast as water that's out to sea

sharp as rocks piercing thru white foam

deadly as lava erupting from within

soft as rose petals whispering their secrets

teasing as dewdrops that disappear

with the sun rising

powerful as lighting striking

the already battered earth

noisy as birds twittering

silent as dark forest shadows

 

These are my musings

uncontrollable

unnoticeable

trapped inside my head

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

I guess be honest ; tips are welcome; i can't write but i thought i would try anyways. I corrected spelling errors. I forgot to use spell check early this morning.

Reviews

[Gracie-San]

This is exactly how I feel when I sit down and write, but I don't think I could express it in such a beautiful and simplistic form that you could.

I also love your use of descriptions in this poem. I feel as if it adds to the emotions most writers feel when they sit down and begin to write their muse.

[Samuel Dickens]

No, you can write. (You did mispell a couple of words, though) You sound like someone is alive with youthful exhuberence, possessing an active mind. Nice wording, really.

[Nianque]

I just wanted to say thank you in advance and i will be returning the favor soon !! :)

[Christina May Shanaberg]

Line 11--powerful as "lightning" striking
Line 6--sharp as rocks "piercing" thru white foam
Line 8--soft as rose petals "whispering" their "secrets"
Line 9--teasing as dewdrops that "disappear"

I loved this poem and will put it in "Ye Ol' Library!" Very, very visual!!

[Ruth]

I love this! A willing pen at the hands of a muse, wow! Impressive imagery:) xx

[Liza]

no need to say you can't write - you've done it
no longer unnoticeable
no longer trapped
inside your head
i enjoyed the descriptions - keep up the visions and making them come to life.

[SK Woodiwiss]

A very nice ramble - take it further, I feel as if we have just begun something. Take up your pencil again. Why do you have these images and where is this path leading you?

[Norma M Sutton]

You get your points across very well in this piece. I don't know a lot about writing poetry, but it reads nicely.

[Michael X]

wow, this is powerful and the sense of imagery flows with gusto,
and passionate penciltry, as in a great tracing of emotions through words, as only a poet can, great job, keep it up

[Coyote Poetry]

We need memories and visions to create words on a sheet of paper. I like the poem. A field trip into a another mind may scare the onlooking. A excellent poem. Thank you.
Coyote

[A.Lee]

Yaaay she writes again! And this is good! I loved your images and you portrayed the feeling of needing to get all those thoughts our really well :)