Chapter One: The Mistake

          I just stared blankly at the screen. My MSN group flashed orange but I was oblivious to it. What had I just said? What had I just said? I hadn’t said it, there was no way! But there it was, right in front of my face, plain and clear.

 

- Νικολε -  </3 says:

Say something mean, I need to cry.

 

Do Not Resuscitate says:

I hate making people cry

 

- Νικολε -  </3 says:

You didn’t seem to have a problem with it before...

 

          I stared dumbfounded for a moment more before adding “KIDDING”. I totally blew it, I knew I did, because that’s when the swear words came out.

          “F**k you eh.” Was what Alex said next. Then, “If it still bothers you that much, you shouldn’t talk to me.” No! No! NO! That’s not what I meant. I shook my head, why had I said that? What made me do it? I absolutely loved talking to Alex. I was so happy when he finally apologized to me; I wanted to be his friend. Sure sometimes I was afraid that he’d do the same thing over again, but it didn’t mean that it was bothering me all that much, or that I didn’t want to talk with him.

          I rushed to try and explain, but his girlfriend got in on it too. I thought she was my friend. Guess not, since the next thing I knew they were both offline. Well, that went well.

          I fell off of my chair, literally. How could this be happening? We had made up only two months ago! Is it possible that it didn’t mean anything to him? But, how could it not have? I remember it so clearly...

 

          “So what’s new?”

          “Not much, just school, that guy I was telling you about...You?”

          “Well, I finished school, now I’m working.” Alex pulled onto the next street, as he was driving me home...at 3 in the morning I might add.

          I just nodded. This was so weird; I hadn’t talked to him since we fought a year ago. Unless you count the random hellos I got recently...

          “Look, uhm...I realize I never really got a chance to apologize for how mean I was to you.”

          What? WHAT? What had he just said to me? My head whipped left to look at him. He looked back as he stopped at the stop sign. “I-it’s okay.” I somehow managed to whisper. It’s okay? IT’S OKAY? Was it okay? I mean, he had really hurt me...

          “I...I don’t know why I did it.”

          “Well, I mean I guess I could see how I was being annoying...” What was I saying? I guess I was being a little annoying but, this jerk hurt me! Except, right now, he didn’t seem like a jerk, he seemed really sweet. The look I saw in his eyes, and etched in every line of his face, looked really sincere and sorry. I felt kind of bad.

          “Well, I can’t control other people’s actions, but I can control mine. And I was wrong, and I’m sorry.”

          I was utterly speechless. Who would have thought? “It’s okay, really. Apologizing for it makes it better.” Did I just say that? I sound so lame! I flashed Alex a smile.

          “So, you still in band at the school?” he asked, trying to sound casual.

          “Nope. I’m in choir.”

          “Oh, well you still play an instrument?”

          “Well, not with the school. I mean I know how to play piano, and now my parents bought me an acoustic...”

          “Guitar?” His voice perked up.

          “Yea.”

          “Really? My friend Anth has all of these DVDs to teach yourself with and books and stuff and I mean he doesn’t usually loan them out but I could ask him. He’s really good at guitar and-”

          “Yea I know, Laura told me.” Laura was Alex’s girlfriend.

          Alex nodded. “We usually get together on the weekend’s to jam, maybe...I mean, you still have my e-mail right?”

          Was he implying what I thought he was? Did he want me to jam with them? Wow, that was a HUGE shock. “Uhm, yea but I think I have to re-add you.”

          “Yea, or just talk to Violet.” He pulled into my driveway.

          “Sure.” I smiled at him. I was about to get up to leave but then Alex said “I hope everything works out with you and that guy.”

          That guy? Oh, he was talking about the other Alex that I had mentioned to him. “Oh, well it won’t.” I tried to laugh. “He got a girlfriend who looks just like me and is really jealous of me.” I tried to explain quickly.

          “Well, it’s a good thing if she’s jealous. Because that means you’re better than her.”

          I couldn’t believe what he was saying to me! “Yea, I guess.” I got up to leave, but I reached over to hug him first. I don’t know why, I just did, but he hugged back. I mumbled “thank you.” Before I closed the door, though, Alex said something else, “Don’t worry, you’ll find someone. You’re a cool person and you’re attractive.”

          I almost dropped the flip-flops that were in my hand. WHAT?! “Uhm, thanks.” I tried to smile but I was so astonished, I don’t know if I did. “Bye.”

          I heard a “bye” from Alex before I closed the door. I waved to his black elantra as I walked through my front door...

 

          There was no way all of that could have been fake, could it? I walked up the stairs to my room as quietly as I could, but my mind was screaming to me. I don’t know how I didn’t scream aloud; it felt as though my head would explode.

          I lay on my bed, and that’s when I realized that tomorrow, I had told Violet to come over so we could work on her brother’s birthday gift, which I had had an idea for. We were going to make a “piggy bank box” sort of thing, and call it “Mustang/Motorcycle Fund”, and try to collect some money from Alex’s friends. Since Alex wanted a Mustang or a Motorcycle more than anything.

          We had to paint the box tomorrow, and I had come up with the idea and made the plans before all of this had happened tonight. Well, I guess I’d have to suck it up...

          My mind was full of these thoughts as I drifted off to sleep.

* * *

     “Okay so, what colours are we using and stuff?” Violet and I were in the

basement, and I had laid newspaper out on the table.

     “Well, I found out that his favorite colours are red, gold, and black. So,

I’ve got...red, gold and black.” I held up the three bottles.

     “Cool.”

     I got the rest of the stuff ready, played some music, and we started 

painting. Painting really relaxed me, but I couldn’t help thinking about what I was doing and what had happened the night before.

          “So, how are we going to do the gold part?” Violet cut through my thoughts as I rhythmically painted the red on.

          “Oh, uh, I guess we could do gold trim.” I tried to sound casual. I hadn’t told Violet anything...yet.

          “Okay.”

          A few silent moments went by, with just Miley Cyrus in the background before Violet said “This is really relaxing.”

          Yea, normally, my head called out, but I said “Yea.”

          It took us a good two hours to finish everything but the words. Then we went upstairs to eat, before Violet had to leave. “Are you going to be able to finish it yourself?” Violet asked me.

          Myself? Finish it at all after what happened last night... “Yea, I can finish the words. You can start asking people I guess.” Oh man, this was going to be difficult.

          “Sure.”

          “Are you pitching in?”

          “Yea.”

          “Are you getting him anything else?” I asked, munching on a jelly bean.

          “Maybe, but it’s been so hard. I’ve been trying to get it out of him, what he wants, you know? But I just can’t figure it out.”

          “I see.”

          I really didn’t know what to say. I wasn’t expecting her to say “you?” because well, why would I buy her brother something when I was already making the box. Especially after last night, but then I had to remind myself that she didn’t know about last night. And I still hadn’t decided if I should tell her, I mean what could she do or say? Plus, I didn’t want to argue with her over Alex again. But, would it seem wrong if I didn’t pitch in?

          “Well, I’ll pitch in too.” I randomly burst out. Why had I said that? Why?

          “Cool.”

          The doorbell rang then, and Violet left with her mom. I cleaned up then went downstairs to finish the box. Well, why not finish it as good as I could? I mean, we had already done such a good job, why ruin it? So I went on the computer, printed out the font I liked best, and went on the concrete floor, using the exacto-knife to carve out the letters.

          Then I placed them on the top of the box, and traced them in pencil. I looked at it for a while, it looked right. So I grabbed the black paint and drew in the letters. It looked pretty good.

          I added a mustang and a motorcycle from the internet on the two short sides, and set it down to dry.

     Later that night I went on the computer and I noticed Violet was online. I

shrugged and opened the conversation box.

 

- Νικολε -  </3 says:

Hey you...What’s up?

I finished the thing by the way

 

          I didn’t say “box” just in case her brother read over her shoulder again. I closed the conversation box and checked my e-mails. The messenger bar on the bottom of my screen flashed orange, and I opened Violet’s conversation box.

 

Violet Aguanno says:

Hey, not much you?

And really? Does it look good?

 

- Νικολε -  </3 says:

Yea, I think it looks pretty good. So now you just have to ask his friends to pitch in, right?

And I’m listening to music.

 

Violet Aguanno says:

Yup, I already asked Anth. I’m going to ask Joey next.

 

- Νικολε -  </3 says:

Kay cool. If Sam comes on I’ll ask him.

 

          Oh my gosh, had I just said I’d ask Sam if he came on? Why was I being so nice about this?

          I shook my head, how insane this was.

          Violet signed off after a few minutes, and I just started filling in a survey. I was bored anyway, and I needed to keep my mind pre-occupied. The problem was I got to a question that reminded me of what I was supposed to be trying to avoid. “Is there someone you should hate right now, but you don’t?” Well heck yea there was – Alex, obviously.

          I sighed and went back to my MSN. That’s when I noticed Sam was online. Well, what the heck? I wasn’t going to lie to Violet, I had told her I would ask so, I did. And Sam agreed. This was getting a bit tiring, so I signed off and went to bed, in hopes that this nightmare would end soon.