Locked My Heart Away

A poem by Nix and Nomo

Times are hard

Feelings get torn apart,

I want to handle things with my brain

And stop handling them with my heart

It's getting boring, 

It's getting tiring,

My brain just quit

My heart is hiring!

My heart worn atop my sleeve

My brain on leave, 

for which I grieve

My heart keeps taking over

Getting too powerful for me

I want to put it in a box

Lock it up tight

Make sure the lock is on just right

While my brain starts to board its flight

I take to myself

I give something I didn’t have before

Something I was missing

Courage, deep raw courage

Even when I was being discouraged

I don’t know how to control

The screams coming from my soul

My heart’s gone astray

Might keep it locked up for a day

I wanna leave

But I have to stay…

Maybe I can let my heart out one day

But it’s gotten too powerful

But at the same time

Too weak

It’s gotten to the point

Where I can barely speak

Boyfriend put his hands on me

He grabbed me by the butt

I turned around and slapped him

Then I kneed him in the nuts

I’m tired of his game

My anger started to inflame

I hate what he did

Even after I said

“No”

He said he loves me

I say, “Don’t tell, 

Show”

I take to myself

I give something I didn’t have before

Something I was missing

Courage, deep raw courage

Author's Note

This is a collab Nomo and I did together, we were talking about her boyfriend troubles and she said, "I wish I could lock my heart in a box"
AND A POEM WAS BORN!!
I immediately started to sketch out a poem out of just those few words, and then I asked her if she wanted to do a collab and she was like YASSSSSS!!
I loved working on this poem with you, Nomo!!
I must have loved you so much in our past lives that I had to come back and find you again in this next one (Only you will understand this, Nomo, lol)
I'm so glad to call you my friend.

Tell me what y'all think of our poem!!!

Reviews

[bianca]

"I want to handle things with my brain
And stop handling them with my heart
It's getting boring, 
It's getting tiring,
My brain just quit
My heart is hiring!" I felt so much your words and I love the way you wrote about your thoughts. They are like a new breath for me because deep inside, they can make you remember of your past that is all about darkness and pain. Yes, it's really hard to choose between your mind and heart. Not always you can do both.

[Franky]

I like it a lot. I have the same troubles. My brain makes so much sense and it so right!! But my heart says f**k that! I wanna have fun!!!!

Well written.

[Nix is typing...]

Lol! I'm glad you could relate, Thanks for the read and review 🙂

[Just Kim]

What I can see from this post it is very good and emotional.

[Kari Rakitan]

I've sometimes wished for a switch, but only when I have some sort of task that needs to be accomplished. Otherwise, I've taken a strange sort of pleasure in the pain. I've cried myself into an orgasm twice.

On rare occasions, I've taken Ibuprofen to deal with emotional pain:
https://news.utexas.edu/2014/07/31/ibuprofen-relieves-womens-hurt-feelings-not-mens/#:~:text=For%20years%2C%20researchers%20have%20known,and%20women%20report%20feeling%20better.

I've only done it when I had work I needed to get done, but it helped.

[Nix is typing...]

I've never heard of crying one's self into orgasm before, lmao. I love that 🤭
Thanks for your read and review Kari. :)

[Greg Gorman]

I'm sure a lot of people wish they could be more analytical and less emotional. I'm sure there'd be a lot fewer people who get hurt. Unfortunately, some people aren't like that. People have feelings. People feel love. People feel other emotions and if they get too deeply involved with other people, then it's not so easy to walk away. He loves me. I love him. How many people out there have said that or heard someone say that to them when people are discussing their relationships and the problems they entail?

The brain quits. The brain checks out. People are tired sometimes of having to think things over. Where they are; How they got there. What they can do about it. Sometimes it's easier to turn to drugs or something else to numb the pain and help them get through the day or night. Sometimes it's just easier than having to face reality and the fears and worries that are housed there. It's the same thing. Different day but the same problems, the same issues. The same doubts and fears that plague the waking mind. Again, masking the pain and guilt with a chemical solution to a problem is the fastest and easiest way. You'll pay for it in the long run but right now it's the option that feels best.

If only there was a way. If only there was a way to turn off the heart and the emotions and have the brain step in and make the decisions that need to be made. Seems easy enough. Right? After all, it is the brain that controls the heart's functioning. Why couldn't your brain direct the heart? Because that's not how it works. The heart wants what the heart wants. You wear your heart on your sleeve. It's hard to hide your feelings and yearnings. It's hard to hide the hurt you feel. Again, emotions.

You are at your breaking point. You don't know what else to do. What can you do? You don't seem to know. Sometimes, it's when people reach their breaking point. They don't know what else to do. It's just a reaction. It's just something that happens without thinking. A raw, emotional response to a situation or the environment they are in. What if you could lock your heart away and leave the brain to do the heavy work; to make the hard decisions? The heart is gone. The brain can't hide. It has to step up and do something. Make the decisions. Do what's best. The brain knows. The brain can act. One decision, just one decision and your life can improve and you can move on. Live a better life. The heart won't let you do that, though and the heart is too powerful for you to ignore and too weak to do what is truly right.

There he is. What is it that drew you to him. What is it that made you say "Yes" to him in the first place. Now he is coming to you. You don't want to and you tell him but he's not listening. He's not listening to your voice but maybe he'll listen to your knee. Ouch. I'm sorry, Baby. I didn't mean it. I really love you. Come here. I won't do it again. You know I didn't mean it.

You gave courage. It had been missing until now. What courage? The courage to stand up to him and finally say no or the courage to do what was best for you and walk away?

[genocide]

This is sad but the past hurts and now it’s so good to express yourself with writing.

[Nix is typing...]

Thanks for the review, Jamarr. :)

[Nomo]

I love it, also THE PAST LIVES NEVER LIE. I love working with you it's really fun and I love how we can joke about my relationship and everything else! SORRY FOR FALLING ASLEEP ON YOU!!!