The Downward Spiral of Adam Keir | Chapter 8

Adam was sitting at a table in a coffee shop, near the windows. As he sat, he gazed out at the street�"at people walking past the shop, living their lives, oblivious to the fact that he was watching them at that moment. He knew that none of them would recognize him if they saw him. No one would look at him and think, “Hey, that’s Adam Keir, the guy who makes surreal videos.” He was nobody to them, despite his tiny blip of “fame” on the internet. He was nobody to everyone except for, at most, four people.
            Then again, Eric Dane’s probably long since forgotten me. I haven’t heard from him since 2012. So I’m nobody to everyone except for three people.
            He felt bad taking time off work to have an early morning coffee, but comforting him was the fact that Jesse could handle the pawn shop on his own. He pitied the customers, though. The thought of Jesse, rocking out to some 80s song as a customer walked in, made him chuckle to himself.
            It’s definitely happened already, at least twice. Those poor, poor people.
            He’d waited for eight minutes now, but he didn’t mind. Having time alone was blissful enough. There was music playing somewhere in the shop, and he heard light chatter from the customers at other tables. There was a pansy flower sitting in a tiny clear vase on the center of his table, as there was at every table. As a result, the homey shop, with its dark, wooden walls, smelled heavenly, of coffee and the sweet perfume of pansies.
            I should come here more often. It’s rather soothing to sit here and think.
            There were wooden ceiling fans. Gazing, Adam pictured vines growing out of them, spreading out across the roof at a slow, satisfying crawl. The vines had thorns on them, the tips of which were lighter than the vines themselves. Some of the thorns began to burst open, blossoming into pansies and honey flowers. Confused by this turn of events, Adam tilted his head. Why did he keep seeing honey flowers? Was he seeing them now because of the one that was in the plant on his dining room table? Again, he could smell the sweet nectar of the Australian plants. Soon, beautiful blotches of purple, white, and red covered the ceiling.
            Adam’s glance fell onto another customer: some unremarkable man across the shop who was talking to a girl. He stared at the man and tried to will him to stop talking.
            Look at the ceiling. Look at the flowers and smell them.
            It was foolish to expect him to do so, because there wasn’t anything there. But to Adam’s amazement, the man did indeed look up at the ceiling. Then, he seemed mesmerized. The girl with him, though, seemed unaware of what captivated him so.
            What in the world? Does he see them too?
            Adam looked back up at the flowers on the ceiling. The shade of purple from the pansies caught his eye for some reason, and he squinted at it.
            Purple. . . . Purple, like . . .
            The shop’s bell rung as the door swung open, and the sound caused Adam to tear his eyes away from the flowers. In the doorway stood Evangeline, who, upon seeing him, twinkled an open-mouthed smile and waved. He smiled back at her, mouth closed and lips together. Giddy, the young girl skipped over and took her seat across from him, laying her dark purple purse on her lap.
            “Hi!” she gushed. “Thanks for waiting around for me. I got a bit lost.”
            “No problem,” he said to her.
            She was still wearing her green scarf, but instead of the purple shirts, she had opted to wear a white wool pullover sweater. It suited her, making the blond tinge to her platinum hair appear more vivid.
            Purple, like her eyes. . . . But weren’t her eyes blue before?
            Her bangs swooped down over her right eye, and the hair at the sides of her face curled inward. It was sort of messy, but in what he had to admit was an endearing way. Her eyes, lavender in color, met his, and she beamed at him through her frosty pink lips.
            I could’ve sworn they were blue. “Are you wearing contact lenses?”
            She tilted her head, confused. “No.” Then she giggled and added, “Not that I know of, anyway.”
            “It’s just that I thought your eyes were blue . . .” Who has purple eyes? That’s not natural.
            The young girl shook her head. “Nope. But I can start wearing blue contact lenses if you’d like me to.”
            Before Adam could answer, an employee came over and asked if he could get them anything. Evangeline ordered an iced vanilla latte, and Adam ordered a simple long black coffee. The employee left with their orders, so Adam resumed speaking.
            “No, don’t do that,” he told her. “Purple suits you better.”
            She blushed and gave him a coy smile. “What color are your eyes? It’s so hard to tell.”
            Adam shrugged and managed a small laugh. “To be honest, I don’t have a clue. Some people say they’re brown, others say they’re hazel. I used to think they were green.”
            Evangeline leaned in closer, causing him to tense up, and looked him straight in the eyes. Her face twisted in thought and consideration as she scanned his irises. Then, she sat back down and declared, “Well, in this lighting, they look blue.”
            The employee returned and handed them their drinks. As he did, Adam threw up his hands in light-hearted exasperation and remarked, “My point exactly.”
            “I think they’re hazel, though,” Evangeline continued once they were alone again. “I read once that hazel eyes reflect more light than other colors, so they tend to match colors around them. But they’re really hazel.” Then, she took a dainty sip of her latte.
            “Huh, I guess that makes sense.” Adam brought his cup to his mouth and carefully blew on the steaming coffee. Instead of drinking, though, he put the cup back down into its saucer and asked, “Where’d you read that?”
            “Yahoo Answers?” she answered, though she phrased it as a question. “Reddit, maybe. I’m not sure.” She snarked. “I know, I know; it sounds like it was a made-up explanation now.”
            Again, Adam shrugged. “I don’t think so. Sometimes the people who post on those sites know what they’re talking about.”
            “Sometimes,” stressed Evangeline, through a grin. They shared a laugh.
            This is nice. I didn’t know how much I needed something like this; just talking with a stranger who happens to be able to tolerate me.
            For a moment, the two of them gazed at each other, smiling in silence. Then, Evangeline said, “I think this is the first time I’ve seen your smile. You don’t smile in any of your pictures.”
            Adam’s mouth twisted before re-establishing itself as a flat line. Bashful now, he looked away, at the window. “Oh. Sorry. I look kind of goofy when I smile, so I usually . . . well, don’t.”
            “No, no,” Evangeline argued in a gentle, loving voice as she shook her head. “I love it. You look even more handsome when you smile. You should do it more often.”
            Adam didn’t blush easily, but after hearing Evangeline’s compliment, he felt his cheeks betray him by burning up a bit. He looked at her, and her grin widened. She laid her hand down onto the table, over his. In doing so, she touched his wedding band, and he looked down at it.
            God, why are we flirting? I’m almost over fifteen years older than her, and I’m married!
            When she saw the wedding band, Evangeline’s eyes dulled, and her mouth fell into a tiny frown. “Oh?”
            Adam pulled his hand away and retreated it to lay flat on his thigh. After clearing his throat, he picked up his cup and took a sip as he gazed out of the window.
            “That’s not fair.” The amused tone in her voice was what made Adam look at her again. With her face close to her latte, she said, “You got your ring first.” Then, she drank.
            Adam wondered for a beat if he’d missed something. “Pardon?”
            She held up her left hand and tilted it down so he could see the back of it. Her nails were painted a dark purple, he noticed, and had white streaks at the tips. The white skin of her hand looked silky, and he was almost tempted to reach out and touch it.
            Stop it, Adam. That’s . . . not an acceptable action.
            Evangeline waggled her ring finger. “Where’s mine?” she asked.
            There was a long pause before Adam asked, “What?”
            Suddenly, the girl’s lavender eyes lit up. “Oh! I get it.” She pulled back her hand and, with her tongue stuck out, crossed her eyes before bonking herself over the head. “Duh.”
            Adam let out a small, nervous titter. What is she talking about?
            Rather than enlighten him, she changed the subject. “So, how’s the video going?”
            Adam’s heart sank a bit, and he slouched. “Oh, right, the video . . . Yeah, I, uh, scrapped it.”
            The look on Evangeline’s face was one of utmost betrayal. “Huh? You . . . scrapped it? But . . .”
            He shook his head, awkwardly rubbing the back of it. “It wasn’t working out. Wasn’t surreal enough.”
            “Wasn’t ‘you’?”
            Their eyes met again. “I guess not.”
            “That’s a shame . . . I was really looking forward to it . . .” Elbows on the table, Evangeline stirred her latte with her straw and looked off into the rest of the shop.
            She’s frowning. . . . Why does seeing her unhappy hurt me so much? I have to make her smile somehow.
            His eyes went up to the ceiling. The imagined flowers were still there. The sight of the pansies reminded him about the vase between himself and Evangeline, and he looked down at it�"at the lone pansy sitting inside.
            White, with lavender edges, dark purple splotches, and golden in the center. He looked up at Evangeline, with her white sweater, lavender eyes, dark purple purse, and platinum hair.
            “You know, you look just like this pansy,” he said. She looked at him, then down at the flower.
            “It’s pretty. Am I really as pretty as it?”
            Before he could debate whether it was appropriate or not, Adam found himself nodding and saying, “Prettier.”
            She smiled once again. “All it needs is a honey flower to keep it company.” With those words, she glanced up at him with a hopeful, longing look in her eyes.
            Adam frowned. Not because of her gaze or the connotation of her remark, but because of the literal understanding of it.
            What is it with honey flowers right now? There’s one in my house, they’re all over the ceiling, and now she’s bringing them up?
            He snapped out of his anxious thoughts with a jolt when Evangeline reached out and tapped his nose. She ripped her hand back, surprised by his reaction. Then, she started to giggle. Despite feeling somewhat out of sorts, Adam found her giggle to be contagious, and he chuckled along with her.
            Suddenly, Evangeline gasped. “Omigosh! I almost forgot!” She snapped open her purse and began rooting through it. Adam watched her, curious. From her bag, she pulled out a folded paper. When she unfolded it, she held it open in front of herself to show it to him. It was the drawing of him that she’d shown him the day prior. “Ta-da!”
            “Oh,” was all that Adam could muster, but it sounded pleasant, at least.
            “I said I’d bring it, so I made sure not to leave the house without it,” she told him.
            She had been right: it did look better in person. There was more detail to it now, and while he did like the effect that low-quality had on it, he had to admit that he liked the real thing more.
            “Wow,” he said. Then, worrying that he sounded sarcastic, he added, “It’s gorgeous, Evangeline.”
            “Eve,” she mumbled. Before he could take the correction in, though, she held the drawing out so that he could grab it. “Here, take it.”
            “Are you sure?”
            She nodded, eyes squinted from the genuine nature of her happiness. She had dimples on her cheeks that he’d come to realize were always present when she smiled. “I made it for you, after all.”
            With reluctance, Adam reached out and took the picture. Looking at it, he had a sudden burst of inspiration.
            “Fold it if you need to. I mean, it’s already been folded, anyway, so there’s no harm to be had.”
            Adam folded the paper and placed it into his coat pocket. Then, he looked up at her and managed a small smile. She swooned a bit, tightening her mouth into a demure pucker.
            Five minutes of small talk later, Adam paid for his long black and for Evangeline’s latte, and they bid each other farewell. As they were heading to their vehicles, Evangeline blew Adam a kiss and exclaimed, “I love you!” He did nothing in response, though he felt his brows raise in uncertainty.

* * *

Once he got home, Adam promptly got a heavy book from the bookcase in his office and opened it roughly halfway. He’d left his coat downstairs, but had taken out Evangeline’s drawing first. The paper, unfolded, was placed down onto the open page with its edges sticking out as a sort of bookmark. Then, he slapped the book shut to flatten the creased drawing, and left it on the edge of his desk.
            After sitting down at his computer, he opened the video’s file. It loaded onto a trashed frame, and he skipped around until he found a frame of Sanity that was still intact. He strapped on his anti-smudging glove and picked up his tablet’s pen. With the eraser tool, he dutifully erased Sanity’s head, hair and all. Then, he switched to the brush tool.
            He re-drew Sanity with a softer face and a button-nose. Her eyes became more expressive, and boldly lashed. It wasn’t how he normally drew women�"he preferred more unsettlingly-handsome drawing, himself. But Sanity became pretty, by the standards of his own twisted art style. Her hair, initially long, was redrawn short, with curls at the side of her face and bangs that swooped down over her right eye. On her chest, he added a pin to her coat. It looked like a pansy.
            Finally, he knew how to end the video.