Advertise Here
Want to advertise here? Get started for as little as $5
Will you?

Will you?

A Poem by Odayin
"

Is the end close? Or too close?

"

Will you even know?

Will you tell lies?

Will you even realize,

When I die?

Do you know when it's over?

Can you tell when it's finished?

Do you sense the destruction of my soul?

Does your heart's feelings even diminish?

 

When I'm gone, how will you fare?

Will you silently patrol the vacancies?

Mournfully stroll the cemetery?

Or will you hunt down lakes and seas? 

If I slowly lie down in my coffin,

The same one you built for me.

Will you kneel by my side?

Tell me how different things should be?

 

Listen, when I leave, i won't return.

I will think of you every day.

But I'll never forget what you put me through,

And how you didn't deserve for me to stay.

Think about it now,

Remember everything that's true.

Grab my hand and don't let go,

Because then you'll regret that too

© 2012 Odayin


Author's Note

Odayin
Been having some writing trouble lately. Please tell me what you think

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

[send message][befriend] Subscribe
...
. beautiful poetry ... nah, truly beautiful poetry ... intense and intensely expressive work ... i could hear your poetic voice clearly ... i felt like someone was asking me these questions as i read your words ... and, it was someone with an amazingly earnest and heartfelt voice ...

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Exceptional and moving...the theme was deserving...i felt many emotions in the work...a very engrossing poem...the main idea seems to change slightly though...it adds a nice touch....almost like drawing with charcoal then smudging it. Keep it up.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Haunting, it doesn't seem like you're having trouble. Great poem :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Powerfully relatable, can't help but agree to the questions I've had many times too. Loved the flow of doubt and questioning in the first two stanzas blended with reasoning in your last stanza. Poignant play of words, with great descriptions, shows how we must trust, and value the bonding glued with trust. I loved.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I love this poem! You certainly don't sound like your having trouble! I loved it.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Trouble you say?? Well not on this day.. I liked the darker side to this piece. (must be where my mind is at whilst I read this poem ;)
"Remember everything that's true.
Grab my hand and don't let go,
Because then you'll regret that too."
Like asking somebody to trust with the physical reassurance of touch vs. just the mind alone. Hmm...that's just what stuck out in my reading here. I liked that little piece best...of all the questions you brought to mind within this piece..that one thought clouded the rest for me. Bravo :) I loved it :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

[send message][befriend] Subscribe
...
. beautiful poetry ... nah, truly beautiful poetry ... intense and intensely expressive work ... i could hear your poetic voice clearly ... i felt like someone was asking me these questions as i read your words ... and, it was someone with an amazingly earnest and heartfelt voice ...

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I really like the emotion here. It feels raw, to me. Is it suicide? It's wonderful. Your wording is refreshing, it flows nicely, and the emotion is real. Great job, you did perfect.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

454 Views
7 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on June 14, 2012
Last Updated on June 18, 2012
Tags: Life, death, friendship, questions, care

Author

Odayin
Odayin

MA



About
I'm just one of many trying to find a little more about life by observing everything in it; from the people, to nature, to every separate personality, my mind and thoughts have smoothed by the blessin.. more..

Writing
Cold Cold

A Poem by Odayin



Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..


Sweet Evil Sweet Evil

A Poem by Odayin


Fading Dreams Fading Dreams

A Poem by Odayin


Sand Sand

A Poem by Odayin