Sand

Sand

A Poem by Odayin

It's all just like a pile of sand,

The way we act, to what we say,

It's known all over the land,

And occurs between night and day.

You divulge yourself among the millions,

Working vigorously you try

To blend forever, mimicking chameleons,

But the golden army has already mastered that lie.

 

You try to sieve away the sorrow,

Make for a brighter tomorrow,

But sand doesn't need friends for light,

It can just grasp itself, and hold forever tight.

 

Water helps fill the cracks,

As you balance the beach,

Forming their creative lacks,

You build yourself higher than they'll ever reach.

Forever strewn across the planet,

Sometimes it's all you can see,

Supporting the weight we hand it,

Always there, mocking our will, to be set free.

 

It's all just thick and sharp meanings,

Sand sliding down the dune,

Toward the devil's side, you find yourself leaning,

At least, until all the feelings bring down the moon.

© 2012 Odayin


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Featured Review

This was wonderful, the imagery here was spot on, it paints intense mental images. I really found the lines,
"You divulge yourself among the millions,
Working vigorously you try
To blend forever, mimicking chameleons,
But the golden army has already mastered that lie."
to be my favorite. It just jumped out at me and think that it was a perfect verse in the poem.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

This was wonderful, the imagery here was spot on, it paints intense mental images. I really found the lines,
"You divulge yourself among the millions,
Working vigorously you try
To blend forever, mimicking chameleons,
But the golden army has already mastered that lie."
to be my favorite. It just jumped out at me and think that it was a perfect verse in the poem.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

a timeless piece, i love it!

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

How uniquely you have captured life in reference to something natural we all know, have seen and are able to connect with, if even just on the surface. I like your rhyme sets as well. Took me a minute...my eyes and head are slow lately...but it just was slightly hidden..just enough to have me go back on the first stanza again...brilliantly placed and extremely well balanced thoughts from beginning to ending as well. I love the decriptions you chose...how they panned out with both life and that gritty surface that I, for one, just love to sink my toes into. Watching the break water climb the shore, only to sweep away tiny granduals of an ever changing life and face of the beach. :)

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Odayin

7 Years Ago

Oh I remember this perfectly now! Sorry...a while ago.
I like watching the water and sand at w.. read more
Wow, I drifted through the poem like sand, and this is just beautiful. Extremely creative of you to compare sand with life, this is something new and unique. Merely a flow of truths and spontaneous thoughts, I absolutely love this.
"But sand doesn't need friends for light,
It can just grasp itself, and hold forever tight."

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

When the poem ended, I thought to my self "wow.... this poem would be a great song, specifically a rap song. (though I don't listen to a lot of rap but whatev I guess xD) Anyway, your rhyme sceme was just awesome and I enjoyed reading your verses very much.

Keep up the good work man

Posted 7 Years Ago


Odayin

7 Years Ago

Bro, I would highly hesitate to agree with me writing any sort of song...especially rap. Nice open .. read more
forevermore1218

7 Years Ago

Thanks, it just gave me that quick word movement that you would normally hear from a rap song. Don'.. read more
I finished this, and paused. I was browsing and happened upon this by chance and I'm so glad that I did. This is a really, really good poem. The way the words painted themselves in my head was grand. The way it flows too is creative. I will definitely look into more of your writing. :)

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Really good imagery and description. I liked this! Great poem, very inspirational and thought provoking.
Write on :P

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I like the way you expressed your feeling through a sand, and it's very descriptive!
This is kinda relaxing and deep, i like your flow!
Thanks for sharing..Keep it up :D

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Very descriptive and well written. Nice work.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Deep. Good job, Odayin.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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1266 Views
10 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on July 1, 2012
Last Updated on July 3, 2012
Tags: Sand, feelings, dunes, say, act, memories, life

Author

Odayin
Odayin

MA



About
I'm just one of many trying to find a little more about life by observing everything in it; from the people, to nature, to every separate personality, my mind and thoughts have smoothed by the blessin.. more..

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