Broken Wings and Ruffled Feathers

Sometimes I look in the mirror behind me 

Just to see if I really moved

Because the rigid grinding of my bones makes it feel 

As though I’m immobile

I think to myself sometimes, 

That if pretend to be alive

I might actually feel it

And when I drive in my car

I check behind me

To see if I find myself lost in the parking lot

Unaware that I haven’t moved

I forget that time moves quicker than my head

I forget what it feels like to be someone

As I buy my coffee at the shop near by

I always smile and say thank you but

The words sound foreign 

as if they escaped from captivity deep in my chest

My smile feels like it was being pulled up 

By sewn in strings by holes in my cheeks

I wonder if I’m real or I’m lost somewhere else

Am I moving at all? Am I even alive? 

It’s hard to tell anymore as all I have become

Is something as unrecognizable as a decaying bird

On the side of the highway

With nothing left but broken wings

And ruffled feathers