Defeated

Sometimes we simply have to give in! Avatar: Thomas Buttersworth: A British frigate hove-to with her jollyboat preparing to pluck a man from the sea.

Capitulated,

I'm hove to in a long gale,

surrender agreed!

 

28/09/19

Author's Note

Reviews

[wordman]

well,it seems she got your attention

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Ha,ha! This is a great way to put it Ron. Many thanks.

[wordman]

you~re welcome

[Eilis]

Perhaps surrender isn’t always a bad thing. I don’t know, I guess it depends on our perspective. Or more importantly, what we’re surrendering to. I do sense the surrender of the tired and threadbare soul in this one.

Short forms aren’t always easy when it comes to fleshing out an idea, but I think this short poem offers a strong sense of feeling. And sometimes the feeling is enough to evoke a whole story. Nice work, John.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

I guess you are right that surrender is not always a bad thing. But sometimes it is simply the soul dying. Many thanks Eilis.

[Fairy Khan]

Syllable count on point. Nice one.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you FK, I guess that is exactly the point lol!

[Gerald Parker]

Nicely done. I did a syllable count. Spot on.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Many thanks for reading, and counting the syllables for me Gerald.

[Gerald Parker]

No problem, as they say these days. Any time!

[kentuck14]

Interesting piece . . . unfortunately, I'm not familiar with the term "hove-to." My interpretation: The speaker is in the sea . . . nearly drowned by life. "jolly boat" is the rescuer . . . maybe truth itself. He can't go it alone . . . the sea is too rough . . . he capitulates to reality to something greater than himself . . . perhaps faith!? Of course, I would look at this poem as a Christian: The frigate is the ship of God, his kingdom. Christ is in the jolly boat ready to save the drowning man. I am not saying this is your intent, John . . . but it is how it speaks to me. Thanks for the poem.
T

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Hove to is the term for bringing a ship to a halt or slowing its progress without use of anchor. Usually in a storm. A superior ship might instruct another to heave to so they might board it or a pilot can board to steer the ship into port. There was no religious intent in this one Tom but an allegorical reference to a relationship perhaps.

[kentuck14]

John,
Thanks for the reply. As for me I see it not as religious . . . but spiritual . . . and I am grateful to you for that.
T

[kentuck14]

And if I may add . . . very relational!
T

[Chris Shaw]

Your words here John conjure up many situations. I am thinking of a relationship, so exhausted was I that I capitulated and gave in. Yes, raising the white flag. Anything for a bit of peace. Loved your artwork, that told another story. I can think of many more. Well done.

Chris

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you Chris, a metaphor for a metaphor!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

a long gale of inspiration blows our pen this way and that...we struggle to stay above and with the waves of inspiration until a poem comes by and plucks us from the sea of doubt...and our writing is once again saved from drowning in its own sorrow.
j.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Having just returned from holiday last week I am still playing catch up. Not had much time for writing and met an author who have had over four books published on Amazon. Made me determined to look at my novel and novellas and see if I can edit them myself lol! Many thanks Jacob.

[R.E. Ray]

Masterfully brief, sir. Whether intended or not, I found some contrast and yet connection between your title and first line. Seems "defeated" is the final result of capitulation? We've all experienced this journey, when we've lost the strength to fight on. Well-written, sir.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Ah a senryu, like a haiku but without reference to nature. Many thanks.